Beauty Tips for Ministers

A Nice Gabardine Jacket

I like these. Classic, cut for a woman’s body, and would look swell with clericals.

$80 at Overstock.com.

I need to go to sleep. I obviously had a coffee too late in the day and too much Diet Coke while watching the Superbowl.

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Petite Pastors – Don’t Drown Yourself In Fabric

Here’s an Associate Pastor of a congregation in a very affluent community dressed for Sunday morning (accompanied by her prosh dog):

She just had an adorable baby about nine months ago (I have a hilarious video of him all dressed up for church that I want to share with you, but I can’t figure out how to get it from playing sideways) and although she looked really lovely when I saw her in person, now that I’m looking again at the photo I’m thinking Girl, I think those clothes are too big on you!

A couple of thoughts on this outfit:

The major contrast between light blazer and dark pants cuts our gal in half, drawing attention to the fact that her pants are pooling around her shoes because they’re falling off her tiny waist (she knows this — but with a baby, who has time to go to the tailor?).

What totally works about this outfit is the colorful top that adds interest and life and a creative touch to the basic pieces. Classic hair and just enough soft make-up give her a polished look. She definitely looks professional but I would highly recommend that if one piece of one’s outfit is a bit over-sized, make sure that the others are not. For instance, if L. had a shorter jacket and top with a defined waistline (she needs petite sizes, methinks), she could better get away with the roomy pants. Another good option is to stay within the same approximate color palette when we want to disguise a garment that doesn’t quite fit. I can see her in a dark cotton ribbed mock turtleneck with a gorgeous belt, slightly more dramatic earrings and a higher heel. Bingo. Suddenly the roominess of the trousers aren’t just too big — they provide balance.

Petite guys and gals have a constant challenge in not drowning in their clothes and — on the other hand — not wearing things that are overly snug. Auntie PeaceBang recommends this to her petite colleagues: stick to clothing cut especially for petites whenever possible, and be very careful to avoid looking child-like with either juvenile cuts, colors or styles. Avoid “cute” in favor of “classic.” And don’t feel you have to compensate for being of small physical stature with Big Important Clothing, either, which can just make you look like you have a Napoleonic complex (especially, I’m afraid, on men).

I know, it’s tough!! That’s why your Tailor Is Your Friend. And when you find a pair of slacks, skirt or jacket that fits you like a wonder, buy TWO and take exquisite care of them!

(Which reminds me that there’s a tiny woman in my congregation who completely changed her wardrobe a year or so ago to look less cute and more classic and who did it BRILLIANTLY. I’ve been meaning to take some photos of her — and will do so after I return from sabbatical because THIS you gotta see. She’s my poster girl for Chic Petite now).

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Great Look For Petites

This beautiful lady is not a minister, but she’s a great example of how to dress professionally as a petite. Laura was tiny in high school and she’s still tiny after having borne two children and lived through twenty-five years. (I was petite in high school too, but, um, time has not been as kind to me!)

She isn’t obscuring her face with a lot of hair — she’s got a cute, gaminesque haircut. Not everyone could carry that off, but Laura is beautiful and she can. As she gets older, I think it would work well for her to grow the hair down over her ears a bit.
She’s brightened her face with a pop of red lips– fabulous.
The shirt and skirt fit perfectly — the blousy top works very well with the more fitted skirt, which has a lovely flare detail at the bottom. There’s a definite femininity here but nothing overtly sexy, thanks to the muted colors.

Shoes are great — a classic slingback is always appropriate for work.

This was Sunday afternoon following a concert at church. Steal this look. It’s just perfect.

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Petite and Reverend People

A petite and young minister wrote to ask for some clothing tips.

PeaceBang wistfully recalls the days she was a petite. Granted, she was always a petite size 12 or 14 or 16, but she’s short, and she wore petites. Now, PeaceBang finds that petites are often very cropped (blazers and shirts) and that isn’t flattering for her meatballosity, so she generally avoids them. But this isn’t about PEACEBANG, is it?? Please let me slap myself out of my reverie.

Petite Rev, have you checked out Anne Taylor Loft? Like these skirts, for instance?
http://www.anntaylorloft.com/atlShowCategory.process?RestartFlow=t&Section_Id=119

They’re a bit pricey, but with a challenging-to-fit body type, you’re better off investing in some really nice classics and sticking to a few garments.

I dig this jacket from Boscov’s, where I used to shop when I lived in upstate New York for about five minutes:
http://tinyurl.com/yldnv7

H&M is also a good place to look for petite sizes. They cut their clothing really slim, and while a lot of their garments could be described as “Hootchie Mama Officewear For Recent College Graduates Who Are Definitely Going Out Drinking After Work,” they also have some nifty and fashionable more classic pieces. Their tweedish suits are inexpensive and made like crap but they look GREAT!

I think the trick for petites — whether men or women — is to stick with classics that are impeccably fitted, and that aren’t too fusty lest you risk that “oh look! The little person is dressing like a GROWN UP” effect. Women should avoid cutesy details like Mary Jane shoes or flowery anything, or matchy-matchy ensembles or anything that even vaguely resembles what the kids are wearing in high school. No hoodies, no flippy short Old Navy skirts (shudder) — and in order to avoid looking like someone’s adorable little grandmama — no holiday themed shirts or lacey collars. Avoid childish jewelry. Find classic accessories and carry a killer bag. Avoid wearing schoolgirl headbands and hair accessories or styles that evoke extreme youth. No need to go around in a super conservative pageboy or a Nancy Reagan helmet head ‘do, but put some serious thought into your hairstyle. I often see very petite women in hairstyles that make me immediately think they’re auditioning for Peter Pan. All they need is the green tights.

Many very tiny women are quite slim and not very curvy. I encourage these gals to have fun finding garments that give them some shape, and not to be afraid of it. Layers are also wonderful on you, so take advantage of all the fun vests and jackets and nubby, textured sweaters out there — but FITTED, so you’re not lost in the fabrics. Do NOT cover yourself head to toe in fabric — you will get lost. That means if you wear a turtleneck, keep your skirt knee-length. Etc.

Hold out for good fit in everything. If you try on a skirt and can detect no derriere in the mirror, put it back on the rack (the skirt, not your derriere). Ask a salesperson to help you locate a well-cut, interestingly designed skirt that will give you some budunkadunk. There are all kinds of beautifully designed, affordable pieces out there for petites with curve factor. Don’t fear the curve. Having a body does not mean being overtly sexual. When we walk around in swathed head to toe in fabric, I really feel that we are subtly projecting the message, “Hello, I am a walking head. Let’s not be distracted by the rest of the story.”

Male petites, you should also avoid high school boy clothing, even if the fit is good and the garments conveniently available. On the other hand, if you’re really youthful looking, don’t feel you have to don a pair of suspenders and a cardigan to look older. You’re 40 and you look like you’re 22? Don’t worry about it! Do put some thought into your haircut, as that can be one way to help you look more mature (WHERE OH WHERE HAVE SUBTLE SIDEBURNS GONE?? PEACEBANG MOURNS THEIR ABSENCE).

Don’t wear bow ties, or you’ll look like it’s 1954 and you’re running for student council president. I don’t want you to get beaten up in the parking lot by the football team.

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Guest Blogging By Petite Mrs. Philocrites

Ladies and gentlemen, at my invitation, the tiny, darling and fierce Mrs. Philocrites has agreed to speak on the subject of the Petite Religious Fashionista:

Hi PeaceBang!

First of all, a disclaimer: my wardrobe is not remotely as fabulous as Peace Bang’s. [Mrs. P, where are you getting the idea that my wardrobe is actually fabulous? I would characterize it more as "Hey, Not Bad For a Fat Chick."
-- P.B.] But I am honored to have been asked to share my petite shopping secrets for those other tiny ministers out there.

In terms of vestments: the great thing about albs and cassocks is that they come in children’s sizes. I think mine is a size 11 (as in age 11). Cinctures in the right length are very hard to find, for some strange reason. However, they really don’t make children’s stoles, chausables or clergy shirts (we’ve got more duds in Episcopalia than in UU World). One petite priest I know loves those dickie collars since then you don’t have to buy an expensive clergy shirt and they go with any outfit. Another friend of mine makes her own stoles, since the standard sizes are both too long and too wide.

While we’re on the vestments topic, I should mention that I always travel with a “preaching stool” from Ikea. I guest-preach a lot and you never know the height of the pulpit. Just be sure to put your preaching stool in the pulpit well before the service begins. Then your illusion of height will be complete!

Petite sections in stores have come a long way in recent years, but still generally stink. Clothing manufacturers don’t seem to get that there are young petite women as well as older petite women. Philocrites and I went shopping the other day, and he got to experience the Petite Ghetto. There we are in Filenes, with many nice skirts and tops in the Misses section. Are any of these in petite sizes? No- the petite section, right next to Misses, has none of the same outfits and has skipped forward thirty years in terms of style. Sigh. And the Juniors clothes, which would fit, are way too Hoochie Mama. Halter tops and jeans with holes in the butt do not exactly say Ministerial Presence. Thus the Goldilocks predicament of the petite young adult- we can either wear dowdy turquoise suits or baby tees with “I heart my boyfriend” in pink glitter.

Don’t get me started on so-called “Petite Sophisticate.” I think they are the high-powered syndicate behind the Dowdy Petite Conspiracy.The only store where I consistently find things that fit me and are suitable for church is Anne Taylor Loft. They have a really good petite section that looks young but still professional. And they have great party dresses too.My other favorite store is Second Time Around in Harvard Square, a consignment shop of designer clothes. People give away things that are too small, so they have a good selection for petites. And I’ve ended up with some items by makers I’d never have been able to afford otherwise. JCrew is great for petite coats. Many petites swear by Banana Republic, but I haven’t found too much there, and it’s so expensive.I also get a lot of shirts from children’s stores. A great one, especially for sweaters, is Land’s End Kids. Gap Kids and Talbots Kids are a good bet, because they’re clothes for yuppie children and so don’t often have cartoons and things on them. I get plain T shirts from the children’s section at Macy’s. And I have a close personal relationship with my tailor at the dry cleaner’s down the street.

Thanks for the invite, PeaceBang! You know I’m not usually one for blogging but your site is indeed a service to humanity.

~Mrs. P.

Thank you, Mrs. Philocrites. I feel your pain, as one who is actually a PLUS-SIZE PETITE. Talk about maddening!! May the Spirit of fabulousness be upon all of us in our efforts to de-frumpify the American Religious Leader. Amen.

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