PeaceBang Suffers For Her Art

Dearly Beloved,

A wee little camera from “Nightline” will be in the worship service with us this morning, and PeaceBang is feeling almost grimly protective of the religious intent of the day, hoping upon hope that it just feels like No Big Deal to her congregation. The interview comes later in the week, and we are just going to have to Be Brave and bring the message of clergy vibrancy and relevancy to the world.

As much as she is calmly focused on the work of the parish, PeaceBang also understands that she should try to look fresh and alive and “camera-ready” this morning, and so went for a facial and eyebrow waxing earlier this week.

The facial, done with all Eminence Organic products, which smell absolutely edible and which she looooooves, was a delight, in that way that having fire ants march all over your face eating you alive is a delight.
Which is to say that no matter how organic a product may be, darlings, it can still be strong and it can still irritate your skin!! As PeaceBang lay there with her face boiling under some kind of “gentle” alpha hydroxy masque and paprika-based topcoat mildly protesting that her face was scalding, her facialist chortled in an understanding manner and said, “Don’t panic!”

Panic! Why would I panic? There’s nothing more relaxing in the world than having six layers of your skin peeled off your face in the days immediately preceding your first national television appearance! Why, it’s like skipping through a copse of violets on a warm spring day! If that copse of violets is in Hell! Panic? Don’t be sil’!

As for the eyebrow waxing, that was not in the original plan but was a spontaneous recommendation by the aesthetician. PeaceBang can report to you that eyebrow waxing is also the pleasantest of treatments, if you’re the type of person who enjoys the sensation of your skin being ripped off your face. But… courage, mon amis! The pain, she is but fleeting, and the eyebrows are really much more cleanly shaped.

And now for coffee, deep breathing, prayer, preparation of the children’s story, final review of the service, and then …. oh heavens, I’ll have to remember to get dressed, too.

Bring the good news, lovely ones! Shine on! And a blessed Sabbath to you all.

[Update at 1:30: What a nice church day! Sunny, beautiful, happy, full. Elements all good (we could have used one more hymn, but I didn’t realize it in time for the order of service, darnit), sermon as well-crafted as I could manage, and I got through the children’s message coherently, even though I usually clutch at unscripted storytelling. I noticed the camera once or twice, but otherwise forgot about it. I know we’re still in the deep of Lent, but today had that “comin-around-to-spring feeling. Lovely. Church a-buzz with much good programming, upcoming stewardship campaign, usual high spirits. Sorry, just had to say it as my real self! xoxo PB/VW]

Dear Boston Globe Readers [updated 8 pm, 2/18]

Dear Boston Globe Sunday paper reader,

I’m so glad that curiosity about this weekend’s article in the Globe about this blog
http://www.boston.com/yourlife/fashion/articles/2007/02/18/preaching_fashion/
has brought you here, and welcome to Beauty Tips For Ministers!

Whether you’re here because you’re clergy or because you’re a curious layperson, or because you’re just bored and have nothing else to do, I’m glad you’ve stopped by.

As Globe readers now know, when I’m not blogging in the outrageous persona of PeaceBang, I’m the Rev. Victoria Weinstein of Norwell, Massachusetts.

In all seriousness, and as myself, I warmly invite you to consider a Unitarian Universalist congregation if you are seeking a spiritual home. We are a free faith tradition and gather in covenanted community to support one another in the search for truth and meaning. Whatever your religious background — or if you have none at all — you are welcome to join with us in the work of cultivating reverence, ministering to one another, engaging in the work of social justice and ethical commitment. We are a theologically diverse people and abide with one another in the spirit of love —
cherishing our doubts and differences and affirming the inherent worth and dignity of every person.
In the words of one of our spiritual forebears, “We need not think alike to love alike.”

You can find out more about us at www.uua.org, where you will find a handy directory of congregations near you.

My own beloved community, the First Parish in Norwell, welcomes you to join with us on Sunday mornings at 10:00 AM for our worship services and Sunday School. We have a very vibrant congregational life in Norwell, with opportunities for religious education for all ages, service and outreach projects, and fellowship with a friendly, creative, caring group of people. You can learn more about us at www.firstparishnorwell.org, and I hope you will. (P.S. I will be guest preaching in Kingston this morning, so I’ll see you next week in Norwell.)

Thank you to Globe reporter Michael Paulson for being such a wonderful and responsible journalist and for shepherding this anxious pastor through a story that, in the hands of a lesser writer, could have just been sensationalistic and embarrassing for me. A PeaceBang halo to you, Mr. Paulson.

[Oh my GOSH. I just now discovered the “interactive graphic” on p. 2 of the online version. What a riot!! It’s like playing with a paper doll , and although I was very nervous when being recorded for the commentary, I don’t think you can tell:
http://www.boston.com/yourlife/fashion/articles/2007/02/18/preaching_fashion/?page=2 ]

[After having listened to the commentary on the “interactive graphic” segment of the online story, I want to clarify that when I say that clergywomen need “more color,” I mean not just color as in pink cheeks, but polish and definition of features regardless of skin color.]

To my readers who wrote to Michael with testimonials about the influence of this blog in your lives, bless your hearts. Your kindness and eloquence have deeply touched me. Even if you didn’t make it into the article, Michael Paulson forwarded your e-mails to me and I have read them all. They are absolutely wonderful and inspiring.

Have a beautiful and blessed Sabbath.
Peace.
Bang.

[photo by my pal james estes, blogging as “peregrinato”]