I laughed out loud in finding this note in an old Easter folder,
“Tell _______________ not to use Bic to light chalice.”
What else do we need to remember before tomorrow, kitties?
Go over lighting cues with ushers. Go over them again.
Check pronunciation, volume, mic use and staging with your readers. Do some theological reflection with them.
If you are participating in a Last Words service on Good Friday, don’t engage in competitive preaching. Keep your segment to the allotted time. And don’t bring a group of your people in with you and then all bustle out together as though you can’t be bothered to listen to anyone else share the gospel. That attitude defeats the purpose of an ecumenical gathering and is obnoxious. At least stay for one more “word.”
Get a pedicure before you reveal your gnarly toes to the faithful.
Don’t just leave the massively anti-Semitic Passion narratives unexplicated. This exhortation from a woman of Jewish heritage. If the late Rev. Peter Gomes can take a good portion of his Good Friday address to calmly and forcefully teach the congregation about the political agenda of the gospel accounts that were written to convert pagan Romans (thus shifting responsibility for Jesus’ death to “the Jews,”), so can you. I was called a “Christ Killer” by –among others — a little boy who practices law today very near me. I have not forgotten his special hateful taunts on Good Friday. I have half a mind to drop in on him on this Good Friday and check to see if he’s still a virulent anti-Semite.
Bring your asthma inhaler to Saturday vigil for yourself or someone else. I myself can’t attend most of those services because of the incense. Take it easy with the thurible, would ya?
Be so prepared that NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, you will never be tempted to make a snarky comment, a cutesy aside, or an ungracious facial expression. None of this is ever about us, but Holy Week is more so not about us than usual. DO NOT MAKE THIS ABOUT YOU. This is a season when people come back to church to drop into a sacred narrative, and they have stuff to work out. No lightweight, therapeutic approach will do.
Unitarian Universalists, stop saying that “we” don’t believe in the Resurrection. Some of us do. I do, for one. Many of my friends do. Not sorry about it. This isn’t the time of year for you to work out your anti-Christian hostility or display your ignorance of Unitarian and Universalist christology. If you don’t know why Unitarian Universalists celebrate Easter, go back to seminary and get a basic theological education. Do not spread the falsehood that UUism is a completely new religion that has nothing to do with Protestantism. If you still think that all of Christendom believes in Anselm’s theory of substitutionary atonement, you’re undereducated and should remedy that immediately.
You might start with William Ellery Channing’s “Unitarian Christianity.”
Also suggested reading, Saved From Sacrifice: A Theology Of The Cross by S. Mark Heim.
(I was not a big fan of Proverbs of Ashes although many loved it).
Read feminist and womanist theology. Read liberationist theology. I’m too busy right now to suggest titles but I hope other readers will!
Make a big pot of something nourishing tonight so you can dip into it as your dash about over the next few days. Nothing too salty.
Stay hydrated.
Get fresh air.
Center yourself, as you will be the conduit for powerful energy and these next days will require of you the highest of the high priestly functions of the liturgical year.
Warm up your voice and body before every service.
Look as formal as you know how to look: groomed to the gods.
Keep the atmosphere in the church itself calm and respectful. Don’t be chatting and laughing uproariously with folks in the foyer seconds before you step into the sanctuary. Allow transition time from social pastor role to priestly functions.
At Maundy Thursday service, think through your position at the table and your movements. Be careful that you don’t cast yourself as Jesus.
Check in with and thank your team. This is the whole church’s moment.
Good luck, gang. Go be beautiful.
Since our liturgies are pretty physical (stripping the whole church, then going out to the garden after foot washing on Thursday; long periods of standing and prostrations on Friday; a procession around the church followed by another hour and a half on our feet singing, praying and dancing at the Vigil….and then baptisms and more dancing on Sunday)–not to mention all the furniture moving, hauling, rehearsing, cooking, stair-climbing and decorating behind the scenes– I always make sure to get new foam insoles.
Also believe in loving on the ushers. It’s humbling how many people make Holy Week happen, and a blessing to notice it.
Man, I HATE those things! Every service in (nearly) every UU church begins with a chalice lighting. It’s serious; it marks the beginning of a holy time. I cringe deeply when I see the chalice lighting person pull out one of those damn things. People! We’re not at a barbecue! Dignity, please!
I also hate it if the chalice lighting person uses a match, and then puts the spent match in the chalice. People! The chalice is not an ashtray! Treat it with respect!
Okay, I’m done now.