Try Something New In Jackets

Of course all clergy need to have sports jackets, a suit (or appropriately professional separates) and we all have those perfectly fine blazers we sigh and wear to the Rotary Club thing where they ask us to “give a talk” and we’re never sure what they might like to hear us talk about, and it’s slightly awkward but you get a free lunch.

PeaceBang hates the “sigh” clothes — those garments that do the job but don’t express anything about her as a person and bring no sense of joy. It’s not like I expect my clothes to make me happy — that’s what recreational drugs are for — JUST KIDDING —
but there is a big difference in my sense of confidence when I’m wearing garments that do more than just cover my incarnate bulk.

Therefore, it is always a nice surprise to be able to find retailers who are offering a refreshing take on jackets, that old workhorse of the professional wardrobe. I happened to find all of these on Eloquii, which is for plus-sized ladies, but you can bet these options are also available for non-plus bods. I’m just too lazy to find any right now.

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Not one boring, standard, ho=hum blazer.
Jackets with interesting shapes and cuts can make a beautiful statement. Shake it up.

Freshening Up The Basics

Happy new year!
Actually, okay, let’s be honest: SisterBang and I were on the phone New Year’s Eve and just could not bring ourselves to say “HAPPY” New Year so we tried to come up with hale and hearty alternatives that would be honest but not totally defeatist. We settled on “2017! Have at it!”

From The Sisters Weinstein to you, have at it!

It’s a good time of year to do a big closet purge and if you can’t go full Marie Kondo, at least weed out the saddest of your garments: the threadbare, the stained, the hopelessly unraveling. Clothing has metaphorical meaning as well as being literal covering for your bod, so don’t unintentionally and unconsciously communicate to others or to yourself that you’re literally falling apart at the seams!

Replenishing the basics is never a fun journey of discovery, let’s face it. But like purchasing new undies now and then, it must be done. Your wardrobe basics are those classic items you reach for every day and rely on, so make sure you are not without these staples. It’s worse than having no coffee and milk in the house! You can always run to Dunks if you’re out of coffee, but if you find yourself without a tailored skirt or bright white shirt, whence can you run?
Nowhere! You’re left flinging clothing around in your closet trying to come up with Plan B when there are much more important things to think about.

My professional BASIC NECESSITIES are as follows:

Black, white, grey sleeveless shirts, in cotton for every day and poly/silky blends for dressier. At least 28″ long. Neckline must be modest.

Black blazer.

Black pants.

Pencil skirts.

Hosiery.

Black and nude bras.

Trench coat.

Clericals.

Knee-high fitted black leather boots.

Dressy black 1″ heel shoes.

If all of these things are in order and ready to go, I am prepared for most exigencies of ministry. Accessories do the rest to make me feel like me. Without accessories, I would be a sad generic lady.

What are your BASIC NECESSITIES? You should know them and know that they look terrific on you and that you have them lined up and ready to go at all times. Please don’t wait for an emergency. Do a closet audit on a regular basis and be honest: what’s about to go? Line up a replacement now. Don’t wait for a Saturday night before Confirmation Sunday to realize that you never don’t have one dress shirt in the house that isn’t pitted out and frayed at the buttonholes.

I find it difficult to find one of my basic necessities: sleeveless shirts that are decent quality fabric with an appropriate neckline and long enough length — so I was very happy to see that J. Jill is having a sale on just such a shirt. J. Jill makes pretty decent clothes but their styles are definitely for the willowy type gal, because they seem to be ALLERGIC TO DEFINED WAISTLINES. Their clothes are all long and tunicy and sexless so I usually pass on by their site and stores. J Jill seem designed for the kind of woman who goes to Pilates every day and stands around in her granite-countered kitchen holding a glass of perfectly chilled Pinot Grigio whipping together a healthy dinner from the farmer’s market for her three adorable children.
She’s amazing on a sailboat and her peonies never die. She has been happily married since the age of 31 and she never dreams about slitting her husband’s throat when he snores.

I am not like this woman. I am terrible on sailboats, I buy just as much bread and cheese from the farmer’s market as I do vegetables and I need a WAISTLINE in my dresses!
This is just to point out to you that I am not the J Jill demographic but I did make out very well with this sale and I scored some excellent sleevless T’s:

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Look at that model’s guns! If I had upper arm definition like that you would find nary one sleeve in my closet. Even in the bitterest cold of winter, I would wear fur vests and show my upper arms.

ANYWAY, gang, I hope the new year brings you upper arm definition and fierce soul strength and a serious clarity around your vocation as I have felt in mine of late. We just cannot mess around. Prepare ye for a very difficult and painful Congressional agenda, and make sure your wardrobe is looking as ready as you are.

Slightly Structured Blazer

Darlings, how much does PeaceBang love you and think of you?
THIS MANY! AND ALL THE TIME!

On Christmas Eve eve, which is delightfully temperate and calm for my small household in eastern Massachusetts, thanks be to God, I wanted to let you know that Torrid is having a sale on one of my favorite wardrobe staples, their ruched sleeve jacket. Some are BOGO 50% off, and there are others and similar styles that are wicked marked down.

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This is a handy jacket for your wardrobe for many reasons:
It looks great with clericals.
It is a relaxed piece but not messy-relaxed.
It does not need to be ironed.
It is a step above a cardigan in terms of professional polish.

Here’s me wearing a similar garment (mine’s from Maurice’s) over a black cocktail dress for a cabaret I did. It was comfortable, I could move in it, and it kept its shape over my dress.
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These are knit, so they’re not appropriate for formal occasions but they’ll certainly do for most of what a minister has to do in our day-to-day lives.

As a new year’s resolution to stepping up your wardrobe game, try swapping out floppy garments like this,

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for pieces that fit. Long, unstructured pieces can look very chic on tall, slim women if they’re made in beautiful fabrics and hit the right place at the thigh, and if the fit in the shoulders and arms is right. Unfortunately, it is very difficult for any of us abundantly-bodied gals not to get swamped by such garments. It all just looks like our bosoms are exploding fabric, and all that knit catches on curves and lumps everything up. A more structured, tailored garment that shows your shape is always going to be sharper.

Now go bake cookies or practice your homily. What are you preaching tomorrow night?
I already did an intense exegesis on incarnation and compared Trump to Herod last weekend for Advent 4. Tomorrow night is for God’s All Stars, and I go easier on them. It won’t be lightweight, I promise you that. Not this year.

Blessings, my sugar plums.

War On Blazers

I declare war on blazers!
The other day I had to dress up for a spiffy event at Harvard and every time I tried on a blazer, my soul died.
They were boxy and made me look even wider and square-shaped than I am.
They buttoned over the plumpest part of my bosom.
They were stiff rather than structured.
They drew attention to the chunkiness of my upper arms.
I hated them.
I threw them all back on their hangers and said, “I hope I never have to wear any of you EVER AGAIN!”

I am sure I will press my blazer suits into service again, especially for weddings and other formal occasions. They are in excellent condition and fit me as well as they’re ever going to.

I just hate them. They not “me” at all anymore and I’m going to look for new styles of suits or jackets for formal occasions. There MUST be better options.

What do you hate that used to be a staple of your wardrobe, kiddies?