Dearests, I was among the Broadway Faithful who let out a collective primal scream when Mr. John Travolta (whom my own dear father dubbed “John Revolting” in the 1980’s, just as a joke to tweak my mother, who had a major crush on the guy) MANGLED the name of Idina Menzel on the Oscars telecast last weekend. Mis Menzel, many of you know, provided the voice of Elsa in the movie “Frozen” and is the pipes behind the hit song, “Let It Go.” She is a DIVA. And her name is not Adele Dazeem.
“WHO THE HELL IS ADELE DAZEEM?” exploded Twitter, and henceforth skewered Mr. Travolta for his gaffe.
Richly deserved. As the popular meme goes, he had one job to do. ONE job. ONE moment. ONE person to introduce. Unlike other presenters who often have a long list of challenging, unfamiliar names to pronounce in sequence, John Travolta had a tiny bit of lead-in patter and then one name to share with the billion viewers all over the globe. IDINA MENZEL.
Here is what it communicates when someone bungles a name badly and (a) shows no signs of knowing that he has done so and (b) makes no immediate effort to correct himself: it says, “I do not care about you. I have never heard of you, you are not important, and you were not worth the thirty seconds it would have taken me to learn how to pronounce your name correctly and to therefore honor you and your ancestors by doing so.”
Have you heard that expression to “call someone out of their name?” John Travolta LITERALLY called Idina Menzel out of her name, and no excuse suffices. Perhaps John T. does have dyslexia, as some have suggested. Still no excuse. Our job as public leaders is to know and accommodate such things about ourselves before getting in front of a billion people. John Travolta has had a long career memorizing dialogue and lyrics, and he is clearly not in the early stages of dementia.
He just didn’t care enough to go over and over the one name he had to pronounce.
So how does this translate to our work, my lovely and dear ones? It reminds us that we should take the time to ask, and to ask, and to ask again the correct names and pronunciations of people’s names when we shall have the honor of uttering them in an important setting. It means that we should get the names straight when doing a memorial service so that we do not mix up the name of the first wife with the girlfriend or the granddaughter. It means that we consider it our sacred obligation never to stand at graveside and realize, with horror, that we have never set eyes on the middle name of the deceased before this moment and have no idea how to accurately pronounce it.
It means, as in all things ministerial, serious aforethought to everything we do, even though it may seem to be routine, and even though we feel that we can skip serious preparation because we have done this a thousand times before.
To mispronounce someone’s name creates a cringe experience for them, and that is never okay.
I am still beating myself up for doing a christening recently where I accidentally referred to the baby’s father as “Roger,” the role he played in “Rent” when he met the baby’s mother. We all had a good laugh, and it was fairly okay because Ken knows that I know his name is Ken, and I had already correctly spoken his name in the ceremony. Still, because I don’t know Ken personally, my slip was evidence that I think of him in my mind as “Roger,” and that’s not okay. Had I spent more time in prayer and preparation for the occasion, I would have had the name Ken in my heart and mind so thoroughly that Roger wouldn’t have had a chance to slip in there. I have learned my lesson! Next time, make sure to go over and over and over the parents and godparents’ names with as much care and intention as I do the baby’s name, and the service itself.
Not only are we responsible for pronouncing the names of those in our pastoral care correctly and confidently (without constant reliance on a script, as though one has no true connection to the people), we should make it our business to train our lay leaders and church staff likewise in the pronunciation of all names, both current and historical/Biblical. How awful to sit on the chancel and hear someone praise a loyal volunteer but mangle her name? Or to feel one’s spine stiffen with horror when the Good Friday reader pronounces Pontius Pilate’s name as “Pilates,” as in the exercise technique?
As you can tell, PeaceBang is a bit of a stone cold Fury when it comes to this subject. This is no doubt due to the influence of her late father, the frequently furious but wonderful Carl Davis Weinstein, who spent his life correcting the pronunciation of his last name (which is WINE-STINE). My daddy always told me, “Baby, the first time someone mispronounces your name, correct them. If they do it a second time, you may or may not choose to give them the benefit of the doubt, but correct them again. If they do it again after that, write them off as an idiot and a schmuck. Someone who can’t be bothered to learn how to pronounce your name correctly doesn’t really respect you, or they just don’t know how to listen. Both things are bad.”
Names are sacred. God knows they are. Take them seriously!
Kiss of peace, PB (Miss Weinstein)