A Fairly Definitive Scientific Study on the Horrors of “Mom Jeans”

Thanks so much to Jo for providing me with this link!!

You must read this!

I don’t agree with these gals 100% but they’ve done a true service to womanity with this column!

14 Replies to “A Fairly Definitive Scientific Study on the Horrors of “Mom Jeans””

  1. Great article! What don’t you agree with, PB? I think she actually looked great in the skinny jeans. Yes, you do need to be more careful in your top choices (you can’t throw on any old sweater), but I think they can look good on many women.

    The part about “where your butt crack starts” is really about the different rise lengths of different women. Rise is the distance between one’s crotch and waist. Some women have longer rises, some have shorter. If you are petite (aka short!), you typically have a shorter rise. I’ve tried on pants that fit pretty much everywhere except the rise. Bummer.

  2. Ok, the minute I’m done with the bar exam next summer, I’m hauling ass to Massachusetts and you’re taking me shopping.

    If jeans are truly this complicated, there’s no way in hell I can buy suits without a sherpa.

    CC [We are SO ON. – PB]

  3. Whew! Because as someone who is the opposite of the Sir Mix-A-Lot “little in the middle but she got much back” ideal, I had trouble even figuring out the jeans advice.

  4. Started tuning into your blog in the last few weeks and I LOVE IT! you’ve directed me to some great links (like this article about jeans! right on!) and I’ve been inspired and affirmed by many of your observations. Thank you. Now. I’m so curious about you name… does “Peacebang” mean something? [Hi Barb, thanks for grooving on BTFM! You can read all about the PeaceBang name and origins if you click the “Media” section of the blog — there should be articles in there that explain the whole silly story… but let me know if there’s not… – PB]

  5. “If you can’t tell your front from your back, you are off the Grandma Jeans Deep End.”
    Bwa ha ha ha ha… still cackling out loud from this set of photos.

  6. OK. I’m old. I basically disagreed with *every* choice on the jeans blog. I looked this way and that way–and simply like the “mom jean” look *so* much better than the other ones.

    So, I drug my husband in during a commercial in The Big Game. I wanted him to help me understand what I was missing.
    But he agreed with me. He said it’s an age thing. The “mom jeans” ARE fashionable to…folks of a certain age.

    So I’m going to continue buying mom jeans that my hubby and I like. And if that makes other people thing, “Man, there goes a mom” or “look at those old lady jeans!” well…maybe they’re right. And that’s OK with me. Cause my hubby likes them, too.

    Thanks for giving us the chance to discuss this.

  7. Ok, Mom jeans aren’t fabulous, but the low-waisted ones that have been so popular of late aren’t exactly flattering to most women either. The constant hitching up isn’t any fun, either.

  8. I did the husband test on the jean photos, and mine definitely preferred the non-mom examples. I’m seeing the next Totally Scientific Study in the making.

  9. Maggie, non-mom jeans don’t automatically mean “crack-showing-low-rise” either. 🙂 There is a rise of jean out there that is neither mom nor “hoochie mama” called “mid-rise”. High enough to hold in the belly, low enough to not qualify as mom jeans. 🙂

  10. Thanks for the great link. This was both informative and hilarious, especially after Holy Week, when I feel like I’m the one still in the tomb. I am still laughing about elongated butt syndrome and falling off the grandma jeans deep end.

    I wanted to share with you an unfortunate incident of a festival of inappropriate sharing which befell me this month. Sunday morning, new skirt in a long, slim, faux wrap style It fit well and looked fine when I tried it on standing up, standing up being the key phrase here. I took off my coat, and sat down in my chair to lead the early worship service, an intimate circle of 8 or so people gathered close together in my office. Lo and behold – a complete festival of upper thigh sharing. So not good. I had to hold the skirt closed with one hand the whole time then went to work with safety pins! Lessons learned: 1. listen to Peace Bang when she says to make sure you can sit, stand, and bend over safely 2. The little sewing kit with safety pins in the desk drawer really will prove its use someday.

  11. Loved the jeans advice. I immediately took a look at my jeans and capris (yeah – I know, but I don’t care). Horrors – most of them are mom jeans! But I might just have to live with it. I noticed that the test subjects (including the over 50 mom in the follow up test) all wore sizes considerably smaller than found in the stores that I shop.

    I’ve tried jeans that are mid-rise, lower-than-the-waist rise, and they just don’t look good on me (and they aren’t comfortable, and they accentuate the muffin top, middle age spread – I have it all!). On the other hand, I love my jeans, think I look good in them and never wear tucked in shirts so you can’t really tell where my pockets start anyhow! And if I get a jean that fits right in the thigh (and hugs the curve of my rear), it makes a huge difference in the look.

    So how about it? Are plus size women destined to wear mom jeans? And can the proper pocket placement really help those of us with more than generously endowed rear ends look like we ‘shed 30 pound in the dressing room’ too? [Absolutely!! You just have to keep trying on different styles and finding what works for you. For me, there has to be 2% spandex in the denim to give it shape, a fairly low rise, and a bit of a boot cut or flare at the bottom to balance out my meatball shape and enlongate the leg. The jeans MUST be long enough — that’s key — and a dark wash makes all the difference. I think Lane Bryant makes a good jean, as does Jones New York and Style & Co. I LOATHE Liz Claiborne, Lee Jeans and Land’s End. As in all things, know thyself. – PB]

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