Beauty Tips for Ministers

Almay Bright Eyes Base + Concealer: A PeaceBang Review

Darlings,

We were just discussing the problem of eyeshadow making our lids itchy, and PB wants to share her success with a cheapie little drugstore product called Almay Bright Eyes Base + Concealer.

This doesn’t come in a wide variety of colors and it doesn’t work well as an actual brightener or concealer for the undereye area (if you have real circles to conceal), but I found that it totally solved the problem of itchy eyelids, so I’m happy. I used it for two days and wore lots of shadow to see if it would help it stay through the day and keep my lids from irritating. It succeeded on both counts.

If you buy it, be VERY light with your squeezing; the product comes out very quickly and you only need a little dab per eyelid. The brush it comes with is useless, so just use the finger God gave you to blend the product on the lid.

Share This

Hide Sites

SJP in HDTV: PB Dishes The Oscars

Well, pigeons, I thought I was uninterersted in the Oscars this year. I hadn’t seen any of the big nominated films (I did see “Up” and I saw one hour of “Avatar in 3-D” before developing a splitting headache and terrible nausea that caused me to tumble out of the packed theatre like a pachyderm with morning sickness) and I just thought I could skip it. But then my beau suggested that he cook dinner and make popcorn and watch the Oscars with me, which was such a lovely and generous thing to offer that I HAD to take him up on it (the analogy would be me acting like I understand football in order to spend Superbowl evening with him).

And then it was like a drug that went straight into my bloodstream. I was immediately sucked in by the Barbara Walters Special and then sat glued to the red carpet, obsessively commenting on every gown and outfit. And the make-up! WHO MAY WE BLAME for the prevalence of screaming tomato red lipstick on this year’s female nominees? Good Lord, the glorious Sandra Bullock was upstaged by HER OWN MOUTH.

Ditto for Cameron Diaz, who almost made it to Grown-Up Movie Star Status in her lovely gown, but who still has the bearing of a surfer girl no matter what she’s wearing.

Meryl. Helen. Divoon.
Mr. Clooney, visit your barber.
Miley Cyrus, stand up straight.
Mo’nique. Own it. LOVE it.
Charlize Theron. How could you let that happen? I took one look at your gown and remembered that line from “Carrie” about “dirty pillows.”
Hilary Swank. You finally figured out how to do glamour, but I liked you better before.

The moment when I died, though, actually totally LOST IT, was when Sarah Jessica Parker appeared in her insane Dracula buns, leathery, lined, overtanned smoker’s face (Garnier should dump her as a spokeswoman for their skin care line, honestly. Don’t they think we know how much she needs to be airbrushed for those ads?) and HIDEOUS fondue-party era frock. I don’t have HDTV in my own home and let me tell you, it is not SJP’s friend. I was dumbfounded.
Her hub, Matthew Broderick, looked pained just standing next to his fashion icon wife, and I don’t think it was just his oily hair causing him to look that embarrassed (nice tribute to John Hughes, though). It wasn’t really the dress that upset me. It was the terrible, terrible skin damage that smoking has caused to this wonderfully talented woman. Please SJP, quit. You have three children. Yes, you might gain a few pounds if you stop smoking. But that would be a GOOD thing. And you wouldn’t have to wear thirty pounds of eyeliner and faux-tanner if you stopped smoking. Your face would come back alive because of that really helpful thing called, you know, oxygen.

I think I love HDTV, though. How else would I ever have known that Kate Winslet and Cameron Diaz have crow’s feet?

Overall, I thought the show was a monumental bore that I couldn’t get through. I’m thrilled for “The Hurt Locker,” though, and for my dearly beloved Jeff Bridges. I’ve always liked Sandra Bullock, too, and her speech was darling.

Share This

Hide Sites

Eyeshadow Primers

DARLINGS! This is a response to Miss Conduct, who asked for recommendations for good eyeshadow primers awhile back, but it is also a request from me to you for your help.

I usually just wear gel eyeliner and mascara, but I do enjoy wearing eyeshadow at times as well. I own lots of them and they’re fun to play with when I have the time and a special occasion.

I have found of late, however, that all sorts of shadows make my eyelids very itchy and irritated, and that even wearing foundation make-up as a primer doesn’t help. I’ve done some research on primers and have heard that Too Faced Shadow Insurance works great (and it claims to be soothing to the eyelid) and Urban Decay Prime Potion is also excellent. Both have a silicone base, while Mac Paint Pot in “Painterly” gets very high reviews for being a cream shadow that works amazingly well as a base (brown or black-skinned ladies would want to choose a darker shade from the Paint Pot line).

Too Faced Shadow Insurance.

Urban Decay Primer Potion. The applicator weirds me out.

Mac Paint Pot in “Painterly.”

Have you tried any of these products? Others that you’d swear on a stack of Bibles I should try? Any non-itchy-creating shadows that you think are so beautiful, blendable, fabulously pigmented and great enough to bow down and worship like a golden calf?* Let’s get idolatrous and hear about them!! Because eyeshadow is FUN and way less expensive than a new outfit!

*Please, kittens, don’t recommend Clinique, because PeaceBang thinks Clinique shadows are super-duper whimpy. They’re the “Did you really spend $16.50 for that shadow? Because I can’t see a dang thang on yer eye” product.

Share This

Hide Sites

Brown Boots, Black Skirt

Thanks to Wendy in England, we have a great example of the brown boots-black skirt combo right here at one of our favorite blogs, Advanced Style. Here’s the close-up:

Now, perhaps you may find the short skirt a bit youthful for this particular woman as I did, but that’s not the point. She is vibrant, stylish, she loves clothes, she’s on a cultural outing in New York City, and she is using her clothes to express the work of art that SHE is. Love the dusty pink coat with the twist of burnt orange at the neck, love it, love it, love the flower, love the independence and sense of flair. Another thing this outfit has that I adore is TEXTURE (as one of the commenters on the blog noted).

Oh, and yes, that’s exactly how you can mix black and brown.

Share This

Hide Sites

She Wants to Go Devil Red Head!

Now WAIT a minute here! Wasn’t the Chocolate Fairy supposed to visit me today? Or at least the Pizza Fairy? Where are they already? I’m here at my desk with nothing but a green apple Jolly Rancher candy to nourish me as I sermonate. Whoa is me. Before I sneak downstairs for some lunch, I thought I’d post this conversation I had with another reader named Sarah way back in December. There was a time that I had five or six e-mails from readers who were ALL named Sarah and I thought for a moment that it was one extremely insecure minister! It’s all straightened out now, all the Sarahs, but their inquiries were interesting and I’m finally getting around to posting them.

Sarah wrote,

There’s something I have been contemplating for a long time. I absolutely love red hair. I would like to dye my hair red. My family has red hair genes but I wasn’t blessed with them. However, I do have fair skin and people have remarked that I would look good with red hair. In fact, some people sometimes describe me as having red/auburn hair.

In the meantime, I have started seminary and the candidacy process within my denomination. My faith tradition is not one that discourages make-up/adornment. As a seminarian and new religious leader, I am very aware of the amount of attention paid to what I do. If I dye my hair,will this be perceived negatively? Will this be perceived as a silly immature thing to do, especially since my hair isn’t yet graying/going white? I want to dye it with henna, and since my nature hair color is a light brown, I think it would be an auburn color and would match my skin tone. I want to be within that acceptable range of being fashionable yet not too racy and conservative yet not frumpy. What do you think about this?

PeaceBang respondeth:

Hi hon,

1. Do NOT dye with henna. It’s not good for your hair. Contrary to its image as the crunchy-natural way to color your hair, it is incredibly harsh and the color winds up garish. It is also impossible to correct it once the damage is done. You have to wait for that sucker to grow out. I started dying my hair red at the age of 17 and began with henna. Nice to meet you, Ronald McDonald! Big mistake and one I never repeated.

2. I would to to a professional the first time. Budget and go to someone good. Only that way can you guarantee good results (in that, if you hate it, they’ll fix it).

3. Red hair has a lot of baggage with it, seriously. That’s why it’s so important to get it right. God forbid you wind up with some mahogany or cherry-shaded nightmare. If you already have auburn highlights, a good colorist will be able to emphasize those and slowly work you into more vibrant shades if you want to do that.

4. Reds fade very easily. Start looking at L’Oreal products in the store to find a shade that you like and aspire to. Take these to a colorist and say “Listen, I don’t foresee being able to afford getting my hair professionally colored every time I need it. Can you get me as close to this color as possible so that I can eventually do touch-ups on my own?” In this economy, no stylist will be shocked to hear this. If you say it nicely and give them the impression that you’ll be a return client every 4-5 months, I imagine they’ll be happy to accommodate your wishes.

5. Consider this an opportunity to have a conversation with your mentors and ministerial formation committees. You’re in the formation process, and part of that formation is figuring out how to make changes you’d like to make to your appearance and feel confident that they’re the right ones for your professional context. I change my hair color frequently — not because I necessarily WANT to, but because the colorist doesn’t get it quite right or I don’t get it quite right, and sometimes I make disastrous changes. When my color looks garish, I make wry comments to a few people and let it go. On one hand, I want the congregation to know that I don’t think violet-red hair is appropriate for a minister. On the other hand, what am I going to do, stay home until it fades? You have to move on. Same thing with a bad clothing choice. Find a safety pin, wear a scarf strategically, make a funny comment, and move on.

6. I think effort counts for a lot. If we’re at a period in our lives where we can’t, for some reason, look as polished or together as we would like to (the reasons might be as varied as terrible haircut, suffering depression/divorce, pregnancy, weight gain, illness), showing up as together as we can manage to look counts for a lot. People understand that we are not celebrities with personal stylists and huge budgets. We are public leaders who are expected to have a deep interior life as well as a charismatic, relational aspect. We have a day that might include intense study, writing, counseling, volunteer development, staff supervision, public speaking, rites of passage or social witness. That’s a lot of transitioning between roles and skill sets, not to mention professional expectations. If it seems more energizing and exciting to you to have red hair to bring to everything you do, it’s important for you to know that. It sounds silly but who cares? I myself have light brown hair with some grey and wouldn’t feel right without auburn or red hair. It’s a relatively minor adjustment to make to my appearance and makes me feel good. I’m glad it’s not the medieval era where red hair was associated with witchcraft. And I’m glad I’m not in a conservative denomination that frowns on women adorning themselves with hair color and make-up.

Sarah responded that she would think on it some more. It’s March now, Sarah, what have you decided?

Share This

Hide Sites

The LBS: Little Black Sheath

Isn’t this just darling? PeaceBang LOVES getting these testimonials from you! It gives such a lift to dreary, snowy afternoons like this one. Sarah writes in:

Peace Bang, I realized I have a bit of a pulpit clothing story to relate, and who else would I want to share it with? None other than PB, of course. Mostly because I think your fabulous, well-groomed nature is rubbing off on me (an outfit! with accessories!).

I have grown up in a large suburban UU church that has sheltered and supported me throughout my life. As I began expressing interest in ministry, the church has continued to encourage my exploration: I have been a member of the Ministerial Intern Committee, and a couple years ago, I was asked to do a reading for two separate services for Christmas Eve, in front of 1,000 of my closest friends. This year, I offered again (to our overworked ministers) and was asked to do two readings.

As my family buzzed about getting ready to leave for church, I peered into my travel bag to see what I had thought to bring to wear. I’d be up in the pulpit, next to our senior minister, in front of hundreds of people. No pressure. I threw on the pants and sweater set I had thought to bring and—of course, amid wedding planning and the holidays, I’d gained a few pounds that made those lovely soft-cut corduroys into skin-squeezing stretchy abominations. Thankfully, while packing, I’d asked my fiancé if I should bring a skirt. “Sure,” he said, to my eternal gratitude.

So I threw on what I’d brought “just in case”—a classic black sheath (my mother said it hearkened Jackie O: modest neckline, hemline to the knee); with a white cardigan (three quarter sleeves), a double strand of silver linked oval chain, and the kicker (literally): red Bandolino pumps (low heel, pointed toe, plain leather). My hair was swept off my face in a side part low ponytail, and I had light makeup (soft brown to accent my eyes, and au naturale pink lips, as usual). I felt professional, festive (thanks, shoes!), classy, and beautiful. I think it was clear I wasn’t a minister (aside from the lack of robe and stole), but I’d like to think I gave some dignity to the situation.

I can only look back in retrospect and hope my outfit passes the PB test. I’d like to think that my outfit struck the right balance, for a young twenty-something, non-minister, in the pulpit for Christmas. You’re rubbing off on all of us, PB, so thanks.

Brava!!! Bravoo! Bravay!! Thank God for those “just in case” instincts we have, for they can make a huge difference between, “Well, I’m dressed pretty okay for this occasion, I suppose,” and “I FEEL SO RIGHT AND GOOD AND POLISHED IN THIS OUTFIT THAT I AM GOING TO GIVE THE GOSPEL READING WITH EXTRA JOY AND CONFIDENCE!” An actual “outfit with accessories” is exactly what we should all be wearing whenever we participate in worship, and yours sound just perfecto.

Let’s take a look at some of the elements:

Absolutely fantastic, classic, appropriate. White cardigan and RED BANDOLINO PUMPS FTW!

Beautiful, elegant necklace (yours had two tiers, this one has five):

And just enough make-up and hair-do to feel put together and to communicate a sense of occasion.

Well done, my dear! And thanks for writing. You have reminded me that I have an LBS that’s too snug right now and that I want to fit into soon.

Kiss of peace, PB

Share This

Hide Sites