It’s 5pm and pitch dark outside and raw and cold and wet and suddenly I feel that everyday’s uniform will be black trousers and black sweaters and big boots and heavy socks and who am I kidding — I don’t even want to leave the house and go to church for tonight’s program!
I have had the most fun with my clothes this fall that I have ever had. I don’t think there was a day that I struggled for something to wear that I felt was appropriate for the occasion, fun for me personally, and expressed who I am. It has taken many years of trial and error to get there, and it has been no insignificant factor in my sense of joy and groundedness.
What are some of my own “learnings?” (I kind of hate that word — it’s so earnest and lingo-y, but thare it is):
1. Fit is everything. EVERYTHING. Find the cuts and garments that flatter you and stick to them.
2. Fabric. I got rid of fabrics that feel cheap and depressing.
3. Femme-ness: I wore skirts almost every day because they made me feel beautiful and strong. Doing my hair and make-up = same thing. Getting ready for the day or event is sacred time. I hate to be rushed and I try not to be.
4. I gave away a big bag of shoes that don’t make me happy to my best friend, and they make her happy. I insist on wearing fabulous shoes that are also comfortable. No more frumpy shoes for any reason.
5. Color. Had fun playing with it, especially with tights as a splash of color with boots.
6. Most of all – body positivity.
The new generation of fat fashionistas on Tumblr and Instagram have been an important factor in my ability to embrace my body as it is. I have been the same weight for about 15 years and it doesn’t look like I’m going much up or down any more. It is what it is. I have been saying for years that bodies are beautiful at all sizes and shapes, and the world finally caught up with me. I feel much less alone and bitter as I see the younger generation connect fat hatred with other social justice issues and fight back. It makes me happy. I can relax. I am not yelling about this all by myself.
7. Going back to my old hair colorist. After two years trying to find someone local who understand the concept of BRUNETTE, I returned to my former salon an hour away. So worth it. Walking around with the wrong color hair was upsetting.
8. Theatre, the arts, Bohemian community: I am not visually or sartorially inspired by religious community. Spending more time in the arts community has re-connected me with who I am beyond “The Rev.” That influences my choices every day. Performing more often is part of this. Creative energy!
9. Organized closet. Okay, I know that I’m incredibly spoiled in that I have an actual dressing room. I bought myself a house two years ago and that’s what I did with a small bedroom. But I do keep it organized and neat and that helps my sanity immensely.
10. Letting go of garments or accessories that are worn out, don’t fit or work, or depress me.
Follow me in Instagram if you want to see some of my happy outfits or make-up jobs.