Someday, remind me to do a dramatic reading of the spam comments I get.
UGH!! Vanity problems!
But really, I went last week to have my hair colored and foiled. But ’twas I who was foiled by a foolish colorist who completely failed to do one entire side of my head. I didn’t notice it for a couple of days because I thought surely it was a matter of shampooing or something. This is what we call Wishful Thinking.
I had already done one color correction at that salon (that is, went back int because I wasn’t satisfied with the job the stylist did), and had also had my head burned during a blow-out. Fool me once, right? But I really like this salon and I had one super fantastic color experience with this gal so I figured I had found a place I could land in my new home (I really, really miss my old salon, now more than ever).
How hard CAN COLOR BE?
So I went into Ulta for a trim and found that not only was the foil completely missing from one side of my head, my hair had been cut so unevenly the last time it was done, I needed a real chop to even it all out. What the sputtering what!?
I pay GOOD DAMNED MONEY for these services! I don’t have the time or desire to keep going back for a second or third visit when the first one doesn’t manage to turn my very ordinary brown hair into slightly nicer, perfectly ordinary brown hair!
So now, after paying more perfectly good money to another stylist, I have extremely blonde hair. And I just bloddy well give up.
Yes, there are bigger problems in the world, but this hair color is way too light and brings out the bags under my eyes.
Please contribute your hair woes in the comments. Yes, I will complain to the salon. This is ridiculous. How do you do a partial foil on ONE SIDE OF SOMEONE’S HEAD?
On the topic of Too Much Fabric. I’m 5’2″, pear shaped, on the smaller side. I ordered a few dresses from eShakti (love!). Two of them have full skirts – and I feel like I’m being swallowed up in all that fabric. Is there anything I can do about that? Can the fabric be taken in somehow?
I have been experimenting with various vendors this past year as I transition away from occasionally trying to desperately find something that fits and flatters me in the retail stores to NEVER, EVER shopping in stores.
I have tried Eloqui, eShakti, and Modcloth, all of which have great choices for plus size gals, and the latter two of which allow you to customize your garments. All of them accept returns.
I love Eloqui. Their clothes run a bit snug but they have very sophisticated options and good sales.
I am a fan of ModCloth. Good quality, good customer service.
I am not having good luck with eShakti. They have great customer service but their garments take a long time to arrive since they’re coming from India. The clothing is really lovely and well-made but always seems to have one very ill-fitting feature; say, super tight armholes or an overabundance of fabric in the bust. I, too, have ordered a skirt and a dress which arrived with a far fuller skirt than I could ever make use of (perhaps pillow cases out of the excess fabric?). I have determined that even though the customer can specify her height in the order, the fullness of the garment is the same for a 6′ and a 5’2″ gal. Since many of the cutest eShakti styles are that retro flavor full-skirt look, we short gals are winding up with too much bulk. Yes, by all means get to a tailor and have them take it in.
Okay, doll babies,
We’re getting ready for summer conferences! WOOT!
The Unitarian Universalists have General Assembly in two weeks, I will be doing a PeaceBang “Ministry With a Bang” Event next weekend in Portland, OR, and we all have a full calendar of denominational gatherings, leadership summits and fancy get-togethers.
I’m going to take a little bow here and say that honestly, things have gotten so much better with the Unitarian Universalists over the past five to ten years. I’m going to take a little bit of credit for that if I may, since I don’t see anyone else having openly discussed clergy image and public ministry and the importance of not succumbing to lazy instincts and nonsense messages like, “It’s the inside that rullee counts, so I can wear my long, scraggly Halloween witch hair and communicate to the public that I represent a proud religious tradition that affirms the inherent worth and dignity of all people!”
YOU’RE LOOKIN’ GOOD IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD, PIGEONS!
Meanwhile, PeaceBang ages and grows more lined in the face, puffier of eyelid, and fatter as she functions like the portrait of Dorian Grey to her denomination. The struggle is REAL.
Rather than put up a list of suggestions or tips right now, I thought I would open the floor for your specific questions about what to pack. Comment away! Let’s consult!
My two big tips are:
1. Wear comfortable shoes but not hideous shoes.
2. If you’re not presenting, look polished and nice, but be comfortable. By now, if you have been attentive to the Gospel of PeaceBang, your baseline sense of “nice” is clothes that fit, clothes that probably require zippers and buttons to fasten (as opposed to entire outfits you can pull over your head or pull up over your bottom half with elastic), structured garments, careful grooming, and foundational undergarments that fit your bits.
3. If you are presenting, be on your game. Suits are a good bet, depending on your panel or occasion. Far better to overdress than underdress. You’ve been honored by the invitation: show it.
Now, let’s hear from you!
It is so hard to find pants and skirts to fit when you’re carrying an inner tube of fat around your lower abdomen, which happens to be my particular challenge and I’m sure you pigeons have your own. The waist fits and the butt fits and the thighs fit but the stomach doesn’t. Or if you’re pear-shaped, the hips fit and the waist is huge. Or if you’re slim, the waist and thighs fit great but the bum is sagging with tons of extra fabric.
Extra fabric is a very sad tailoring issue to have, as it just seems like such a waste to get your polished self all together and then have to trim away all that CLOTH. But the fact is, kids, you gotta get that stuff taken in. It’s a mess. Gentlemen and trouser-wearing people, the swags of excess fabric dragging around your shoes makes you look like someone is drowning you in gabardine. Take care of it!
As I like to joke, I have a perfectly fine shape but a LOT OF IT. I have so. much. shape. A full skirt on me that fits my waist and hip girth is going to involve a lot of fabric around my thighs and legs and unless the fabric and cut are just right, that look is going to add a whole lot of volume where I just do not need it. I love a full skirt but if I’m going to wear one, I need to balance the width with a high heel, and because my feet are ridiculously tiny, those shoes need to be sturdy enough that I don’t look like a meatball on sticks.
It’s all about proportion. When you’re 5’3″ and a size 20 with short limbs, a small head and tiny hands and feet, you gotta think about proportion a lot.
I was so happy, therefore, when I found this skirt by Lane Bryant. I have determined that as much as I love full skirts and find them breezy and comfortable, there is nothing so comfortable as feeling confident.
What works for me about this skirt is the stretch cotton blend, which is ALWAYS the friend of the girl with curves. I am not in love with the asymmetrical hem but it’ll do. What also works is that the skirt is snug around the waist and tush and legs so that you can see my shape rather than a big bunch of fabric.
I think this skirt is a bit on the expensive side, so I waited for a sale. I am LOVING the images of fat fashionistas on Instagram and Pinterest rocking full skirts and fitted tops but must sadly acknowledge that for the most part, it doesn’t work for me. So I take the inspiration from their looks and adapt for my own bod.
I’m PeaceBang on Instagram and Pinterest, if you want to follow.