In other Shoe Problems, one of my spies called to leave news of a Flip-Flop Sighting on my voice mail. His message was simple, and so right so I’ll just quote him: “It’s DECEMBER. You should NOT be wearing flip-flops!” Here, here.

PeaceBang is noticing that long, full skirts are still being worn by female Clergy of Size and she has to say precious butterbeans, if you feel at your best visually adding about 30 lbs. to your frame, that’s just the way to do it! Be plump, be flowing, be abundant if you absolutely insist! Or, if you’d like to show that you have a shape that’s actually lots and lots more interesting than voluminous fabric, try on a more fitted style like this one from Catherine’s.

What’s so scary about that?? You don’t have to buy it or anything but seriously gals, if you want one change in 2008 that can be as Moses bringing you out of The Land of Frump, this is it. Shapeless jackets and skirts are out, out, out, and Why? ‘Cause although the world of fashion can be crazy at times, sometimes it makes changes because certain silhouettes are ugly and unflattering. Please give away your utterly shapeless skirts or take them to a tailor and have them taken in at the hips, or hemmed, or do something that will give them some shape. Will you do that for me? Because I just have an irrational need for you to look at least as beautiful in the world as Condi Rice. I don’t like what she represents but she consistently far outshines the female clergy in the polished image department, and that ain’t right.

Speaking of shape, and I was, PeaceBang is squeezing out of her favorite black blazer and noticed that her blouse was pooching out below her blazer buttons during tonight’s worship service for The Compassionate Friends. Oh sure, I was fine standing but sitting at the pulpit, Houston we had a problem . Good thing I could cover my poochiness with a combo of strategic placement of my leather binder of readings and good posture.

Certain items in our wardrobes are so essential that it’s important for us to make sure they fit appropriately at all times. If you have a tendency to change sizes throughout the year, be vigilant. While you work on slimming down (or fattening up, if that’s the issue), be sure you’ve considered what fits and what might need to be purchased or borrowed in a size up or down to get you through the transitional time. In my case, a classic black blazer is something I cannot be without. So while I work on losing the buttah, I’ll temporarily switch to the dreaded Unstructured Black Jacket and wear higher heels and dressier accessories to give my outfits the polish that I want to try to have. That and a good girdle should see me through the holidays.

Remember: NO SNOWMAN SWEATSHIRTS. NO SNOWWOMAN OR EVEN SNOWPERSON SWEATSHIRTS.

That is all. Because someone asked.

Kiss of peace, PB

Honestly, they’re not horrific if you’re wearing them to waterboard or parasail or …whatever you outdoorsy types like to do while I’m reading on the beach, but I have visions of Casual Pastors wearing them to church on summer Sundays. I’m frightened, Auntie Em!!

I found a pair of totally classic wallabees on the sale rack at Off Broadway Shoes a couple of weeks ago and whenever I wear them I look at my feet and am right back in Miss Macdonald’s class, just figuring out that I REALLY LIKE BOYS. They’re ugly as sin, so I mostly just wear them in secret. Twelve bucks of sheer nostalgic happiness, friends.

I’m looking for advice on where to find stylish men’s dress shoes that are also comfortable for spending all day on one’s feet… and that also fit folks with super-wide feet. If you don’t know, I’m sure your stylish readers do.

I’m preparing for my first Sunday in the pulpit in my new ministry and want to look *fabulous*. The worn-down Eccos I have are just not cutting it right now (and the Skechers are just not dressy enough to preach in). Brand suggestions are more than welcome. Thanks!

in peace,

M.

M., my dove, have you checked the very hand-dandy archives?

And guys, can ya help?

Nine West is tempting my shoe lust with these recent styles:

So cute!

For Sarah, who wondered what kind of shoe might go with the classic Ann Taylor styles, how about these?

That’s a gorgeous taupe color for many women, and I’m sure you could find something similar in black. I love the low vamp and strap (much more elegant than the usual thick strap that tends to look either frumpy or too girlish), and if the heel is too high I’m sure you could find something similar at a better bargain and with a more sturdy heel.

And then there’s these for the boys!

So much cuter and more with-it than sloppy ole sneakers!

Also, by the same maker (Fluevogen):

These,

for the more rugged types and these,

, which are just Cutey McCutester!

They’re unrealistically expensive but I love the sense of sturdiness, style and whimsy. They’d look great on a pastor wearing, say, a pair of great chinos, a classic sweater (nothing bulky) and a corduroy sports jacket. The shoes would be all about personality.

Here’s where Ms. Givhans really winds up and lets us have it:

“Did someone say comfortable? Because this is a culture quick to justify wearing virtually anything in the name of comfort — pajama bottoms as pants, sneakers as business footwear, leggings in lieu of trousers, Uggs with miniskirts — Crocs now rival flip-flops as the most annoyingly omnipresent style of summer footwear. City streets are inundated with shuffling phalanxes of men and women with bright orange, yellow and red Bozo feet.

The shoes can look cute on children. But all those adults walking around in Crocs, going on about how comfortable they are, look like overgrown children. They are like the workday Peter Pans who carry backpacks in the city. Not grown-up leather backpacks, but the kind made of nylon with water bottles stuck inside a web of bungee cords and a canister of Bear Be Gone hanging off the side. They have mistaken their walk to the office for a climb to the summit of the Grand Tetons.

Why, oh why, must people assimilate perfectly reasonable, functional and cheeky sports attire into street clothes? Why couldn’t they keep their Crocs on the boat or in the garden?”

Girl, I FEEL YOU!

The occasion for the rant? It seems that Prez Bush went out for a bike ride wearing Crocs and SOCKS.

Lord have mercy.

As we traipsed along, she began to feel the pinch herself and said, “My God, these are like the Marquis de Sandal!”

We laughed and laughed, and you’re free to use the expression to describe your own ouchy shoes.
It goes like this: “I’ve got two blisters from these Marquis de Sandals!”

“Here is my pet peeve: ministers wearing black sneakers as though they substitute for black dress shoes. They don’t. Just because they are black does not make them an appropriate counterpart to a suit. (Okay, this mostly applies to men because I rarely see a woman doing this.)”

First of all, our blessings go to this newly-minted Rev., and we wish her every happiness and the deepest fulfillment of her calling!

Second of all, we thank her for making this important point. Guys, you’re not kidding anyone with those black Reeboks. Unless you have some kind of serious orthopedic issue — in which case you should just wear orthopedic shoes, there’s no shame in it! — don’t pair sneakers with a suit.

Did the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King walk all over Alabama witnessing for justice wearing sneakers with his suit? No, he did not. And PeaceBang feels certain that he would not have even if they had made black Reeboks back then. Some days, personal comfort is a fine consideration. When that is the case, you can wear something like this:

When the situation calls for the most dignified presence you can muster, however, it’s time for shiny man shoes and nothing else.

(These are by Ecco, so they’re actually not pinchy and stiff!)

Philocrites was wearing these the other day, and they’re really terrific for an everyday shoe:
http://tinyurl.com/2sho98
(Clark’s Oxfords)

Here’s a tip, darling gents: Dr. Scholl’s makes terrific squishy gel inserts, and if you do as PeaceBang and buy your shoes a half-size bigger, you can show up in a real shoe and still be comfortable on your feet all day.
http://www.drscholls.com/prodselect.aspx?pgid=7

But seriously, PeaceBang just cruised Zappos.com to look at men’s shoes and found oodles of great options on there that look nice and are extremely comfortable. Now she’s wondering why in the world so many men are walking around in hiking boots and galoshes when there are so many more elegant and equally practical options out there.

Is this a little bit of a Rev. Peter Pan situation, boys? Is this just about wanting to keep that youthful, I Might Just Go Hike Up a Mountain After This Board Meeting, Because I’ve Got Some GORP In My Pocket And I’m A Free And Wild Spirit, Baby edge? Because, sweeties, here’s how it reads to everyone else: “My Son Left His Black Sneakers In The Mud Room And I Couldn’t Find My Own Shoes Before Tonight’s Service So I Wore His.”

Remember what PeaceBang always says, “Well-shodliness is next to godliness.”

Wink, wink, kiss of peace!
PB

We’ll never know.

But I did want to show you Paul and Michael’s shows, boys, because they are darn cute and I thought those of you who are currently frolicking about in Crocs and Birks might like to see them for inspiration’s sake:

I don’t know the makes or anything, but I like the cuteness factor a lot. They manage to be shoes that aren’t sandals or sneakers, but not uptight Wall Street either.