Likewise, V-neck sweaters can be a staple of any professional man’s wardrobe, but worn alone they look too naked and unfinished. Wear them with a very crisp, very clean T underneath, and not necessarily a white one (that underwear thing again):

Warning: I notice that a lot of the men’s clothing out the past few seasons are MUCH more fitted and body-conscious than they were in the past. This means that you must shop carefully and TRY THINGS ON. You’re not necessarily an “M” or an “L” anymore. Designers are aware that men don’t want to dress like schlumps and they’re being far more precise with fit. If you’re heavyset guy, don’t despair — layer. Sports jackets are your friends, as are twill shirts with t-shirts underneath.

You know who else looks really good in a bow tie? Stuart, my natty Director of Religious Education. He’s a tall, handsome clean-cut boy from South Dakota and it’s his signature look, with a jacket, on Sunday mornings.

You know what really doesn’t work with a bow tie? A big cross or a big chalice pendant, or any other religious regalia. Whatever the lovely intentions of the wearer, it just looks super goofy. Men, keep it simple. One thing goes around your neck. A tie, a bow tie, OR a piece of jewelry. Not both.

Pass it on.

I’m fully with you here on the no spaghetti straps, and fully on board for no bare shoulders for anything official, though I’m not sure for church softball games or that sort of thing.

But the no hawaiian shirt thing doesn’t jive. I live and work in California and my conference includes Hawaii and hawaiian shirts are it–Annual conference, I think that might be all the men wear, and for many of us who are in the desert where you will literally pass out from heat stroke if you wear a robe in 100-120 degree heat, Hawaiian shirts are seen in all kinds of pulpits–it’s sort of the norm out here–casual and liveable for those inferno months…I’d love for you to reconsider your advice on this. (Even as a woman, I know Hawaiian shirts are fairly safe in the summer and much easier than figuring out which short sleeve blouses do and don’t show too much arm or cleavage….

And here is my response to Deb, gentle as always

Deb, I’m horrified!! It’s bad enough for male pastors to wear Hawaiian shirts, which communicate a casual I’m-totally-on-vacation-get-me-a-beer vibe, but to suggest that women wear them too for comfort’s sake is ludicrous to mine ears! Girl, that’s why God made cotton blouses in solid colors! It’s 96 degrees here today, for instance, and I am wearing a white cotton skirt, sandals, and a plain black short-sleeved T-shirt with an elegant boat neck. I am just as comfortable as if I was wearing a (shudder) Hawaiian shirt and I look professionally acceptable for tonight’s Annual Meeting.

I stand firmly by my conviction that no one on the planet will really take another person seriously if they’re clad in a Don Ho shirt — except in Hawaii. The whole look was invented to communicate “Don’t Worry- Be Happy! And Let’s Get To That Limbo Contest While I’m Still Really Wasted!” That is NOT the gospel I want to non-verbally communicate with my attire. If my pastor showed up wearing a Hawaiian shirt I’d assume one thing and one thing only: he’s been interrupted from a vacation. See my lips? They’re SO pursed right now!!! - PB

Perfect example in these two pastor gents.

Exhibit A, Paul S. from Vermont:

Right? Rural, lumberjack-y, approachable, warm, plaid. I’d like to see him trim the beard up a bit but I’m mostly just saying that because he already wants to kill me for taking this photo, so “HEEEEEEEY, PAUL! Smile, you’re on BTFM!!!” That’s not a smile he’s got on his face, it’s a homicidal grimace. I thought you’d want to know that, in case you were worried.

Exhibit B, Daniel K. from Dallas:

Now, is this one cool cat or what? From head to toe, this man is cosmopolitan, sophisticated, hip, and very polished. His hair is awesome. His glasses rock. His shoes are fantastic. The whole thing is really great looking. If he was in Vermont, people might look at him funny, like, “Just what are you trying for there, there, city slicker?” But for a large congregation in Dallas he’s got leadership presence and a sense of himself that’s unmistakably right for that setting.

Just in case you wanted to dig those specs up close, here they are again:

I don’t know how I managed to make such a good looking guy look so goofy, but that’s my photographic skills, not Daniel’s handsomeness factor. Trust. Sorry, DK.

So, let’s DISCUSS, shall we?

To me, Daniel does a great job projecting an image of poetic and groovy minister; hip but with a sense of style and humor. His proportions are right. He is very tall and his long hair softens him and gives him a kind of Bible patriarch-meets-troubador vibe. He’s in great shape and therefore all his pieces look very neat on him; unfortunately not always the case with the rest of us (the camera seems to be adding weight on him here — which makes me feel better because I didn’t think I was that much of a meatball myself). His leather vest works for me because it’s classic, it’s cut very nicely, and best of all, it’s NOT EMBROIDERED.
Darlings, I’m sorry, but I just HATE those embroidered vests adorning the bodies of white, Boomer clergy. You know what I’m talking about. You can get mad, you can argue that your vests connect you with memories of your mission trip to Honduras, you can tell me that you wear yours with a totally with-it pair of pants and shirt but I don’t think I can be persuaded on this one.
LOSE. THE. EMBROIDERED. VESTS.

Now, me. I am breaking some of my own rules here:
1. Rolled sleeves are SLOPPY. Get them tailored or tuck them under a blazer. This just looks messy. See how distracting that little cuff can be? If I was a presenter or in a professional setting (rather than on sabbatical and just not putting the effort in), this would be absolutely unacceptable.
2. If you’ll be walking to church in the wind, bring a brush for touch-ups when you get there.
3. Because my new 3″ heel sandals were killing me (those lovely Borns — absolutely comfortable in the toe and footbed but with some kind of torture device in the heel, apparently), I had switched this day to flats. Therefore, the line of my long, flared, dark denim jeans was ruined. I had only brought two pairs of pants with me and both very long, so lesson learned: if you’re trying out a new pair of heels for the first time, bring some pants alternatives so you don’t walk around with a draggy hem.
4. You can see from the expression on my face that the pews in the church are already beginning to kill my back.
5. Since my back is really bad today and I am safely home, I am going to tuck up in bed with my beagle and my cat and a big glass of water and rest.

Thanks to Hank (Panky) for the link. He sent it to me after I admired the preacher’s vest he was wearing in January.

It looked wonderful. You can get one for yourself here.

Just a note to say that three days of proper facial care (including toner and moisturizer and eye cream, in addition to the witch hazel treatment) have already made a world of difference, and I haven’t even tried the makeup (though I will admit I bought some…we’ll see if I need it on Sunday). My congregation’s president said I “looked well-rested” when we met today–the first time she has ever said something like that.

m

Thanks for letting us know, hon. And amen.

On one hand, you don’t want to be Pastor Dullsville here with no personality and no shape:

But then, what if you were trying to be fashion-forward and wound up in this, God forbid?

Or this ridiculous get-up, which caused PeaceBang to start singing the theme song from “Hustle & Flow” the moment she saw it (”It’s HARD out here for a pimp…”):

Or this, which reminds PeaceBang that anything labeled “cargo” belongs in someone else’s professional wardrobe, NOT YOURS:

AND WHAT IN FRESH NAUTICAL HELL IS THIS???? They simply can’t be serious. They just can’t. I refuse to believe it.

And here’s the tragic truth: PeaceBang didn’t even have to LOOK HARD for these silly men’s clothes. She simply lifted them all from the Macy’s web site, which means that it is indeed scary out there for our boys. Fellas, there’s no need to be Pastor Dullsville with scuffed brown shoes. Put a little pizzazz in your look this spring, just don’t fall prey to these ridiculous trends. See how nice HE looks? Nothing trendy about it, but he’s not drabbing along in a worn out, too-big tweedy, boxy sports coat, nor is he squeezed into a too-tight shirt with a tie that’s too short to make it over his girth. He’s handsome, well-groomed and looks polished and terrific. That can be you, too.

Smooches, PeaceBang

We like Nivea For Men’s inexpensive (around five bucks) Extra Gentle Face Wash (I love that “For Men” part, as though I, with girly sensitive skin, shouldn’t even get near it or I might catch a fatal case of TESTOSTERONE)

…
but the bummer is that the Protective Moisturizer with SPF in it gave him a humongous zit,

and he’s not a guy who breaks out in general. So I’m still on the look-out for something protective and inexpensive that won’t clog his pores and cause him to look at me with patient but somewhat pitying eyes and say, “I’m just going to stick with the Ivory soap, ‘kay?” Me: “But the cleanser works great! We need to find an SPF product that won’t make you break out!” Him: “Okay, but I haven’t had a zit this big in my entire life.”

Also, gentlemen, what do you do with dry, flaky skin under sideburns? Can you exfoliate the skin under sideburns? As SweetieBang loses his deep, glowing, Florida tan (*sob*), his skin is peeling a little bit. He says leave it alone and let it peel. But we all know that PeaceBang is plotting better methods. A soft, dry brush? A masque? Aveeno exfoliating pads?

Do be sure that your belt fits. A belt should not be fastened through the last possible hole and sticking out like a little leather stub. It should be long enough to notch through the hole and have enough “tail” left over to make it through the first belt loop on your trousers. If that means that you have to go to the Big N’ Tall store for the first time in your life, be brave and do it. Clothes must fit us, sweethearts, even if it means swallowing our pride and heading to the “Women’s Sizes” or the “Hefty Dude Department.” When you’re out and about being a leader, no one will be looking at the XXL tag in your sweater, they’ll be seeing you. Don’t distract them by looking as though you had to shoehorn yourself into any garment of your clothing. This goes for shoes, too, believe it or not. Remember how Miss Piggy’s hooves always looked so adorably pumpfy bloating out of her purple satin pumps? That’s a very cute look on a muppet, but it really isn’t flattering on your or me. Make sure straps aren’t binding and squeezing, or that foot chub is emerging from the top of a loafer.

And… I’m slipping this in at the end of a post because I’m so red-faced about it I can’t even TELL YOU, but I bought SweetieBang a pair of CROCS today because he has a bad foot and he really needs a supportive shoe he can slip on and wear around the house. You know I hate the cursed things, but I’m no fool; I know they offer comfort and support. And S’Bang isn’t limping today, so it was worth it. Pass the humble pie!!