Beauty Tips for Ministers

Jeans With Clergy Shirts

I think she may be right, kitty cats:

Dear PeaceBang, I found your blog via Courtney Wilder’s piece in Sightings, and find your musings absolutely delightful! As a young Episcopal priest, I have been complaining for some time about clergy women’s frumpy clothing. Frumpy does not equal professional, nor does it in any way help our cause as women clergy. I do love your blog, and also must comment on one subject on which we may not agree. It seems to me that jeans may not go well with a clergy shirt, regardless of how nice those jeans may be. Far too often I see women clergy wearing “mom” style (high waisted, tapered leg) acid wash jeans (as though those aren’t bad enough on their own) with those horribly baggy black ALMY clergy shirts tucked in. But perhaps even nice jeans are a no-no? At any rate, thanks for your blog, and your wider ministry, too.

The last time I saw a young, hip minister chick in jeans and a clergy shirt, I thought the jeans were too snug by far. It isn’t that she didn’t look great, it’s that she looked somehow defiantly sexy and cool, which I thought created an unsettling and untrustworthy persona. There are so many other options. Why not choose a wise one? Sorry if I sound prim, pigeons, but I should not have aggressive visual access to your pelvis and thighs. It makes me wonder what needs you’re trying to get met with such an outfit. “I NEED TO STILL BE HOT,” is what I read, and that’s not a mature message.

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A Witness Against “Mom Jeans”

This Just In. From a new reader. Harken, ye:

Dear PeaceBang, I found your blog via Courtney Wilder’s piece in Sightings, and find your musings absolutely delightful! As a young Episcopal priest, I have been complaining for some time about clergy women’s frumpy clothing. Frumpy does not equal professional, nor does it in any way help our cause as women clergy. I do love your blog, and also must comment on one subject on which we may not agree. It seems to me that jeans may not go well with a clergy shirt, regardless of how nice those jeans may be. Far too often I see women clergy wearing “mom” style (high waisted, tapered leg) acid wash jeans (as though those aren’t bad enough on their own) with those horribly baggy black ALMY clergy shirts tucked in. But perhaps even nice jeans are a no-no? At any rate, thanks for your blog, and your wider ministry, too.

Welcome to BTFM, my dear woman, and thank you for your honest words about the hideousness of jeans with clerical collars. ACID WASHED JEANS? EVER? With collar or no, those bad boys need to make it into the Goodwill bag pronto. Don’t drive me to drink, darlings. Really. Have some mercy. Don’t make me envision clergy colleagues in acid washed, tapered jeans.

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Plus-Sized Jeans

All from Lane Bryant’s website:

Both excellent choices for work. All pants $20 off right now at LB.

None of us should be wearing jeans this light denim to work, even if the jeans are new and nicely styled. They’re just not professional, period. They’re sporty and beyond casual (they’re fine for guys, though). I’m not saying that I haven’t done it when my nicer jeans are dirty, but if I do wear the lighter denim I always make sure to dress them up with something structured and accessorized on top:

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1969 Jeans by Gap

Thanks to Chavale for recommending these.

Click here and look at the gal in the black tank top. Those jeans definitely pass PeaceBang’s Good Enough For Work test. I still wouldn’t wear jeans to any blessing but the MOST informal (blessing cars would fall into that category, but not much else that I can think of!), but these are terrific for lots of things: a day at the office, a dinner with parishioners, a clergy gathering (top them with a fun jacket or pretty sweater), etc. They’re terrific, and that’s just the shade of denim you want for professional wear.

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Blessing of the Cars

You read that right!

Cupcakes, we’ve all had our moments in RidiculousLand, haven’t we? For PeaceBang, it was officiating at a wedding on a little ship in Baltimore Harbor and trying not to tip over in her wedge sandals as she pronounced the happy couple husband and wife … and then realizing to her great dismay that she was stuck on the Love Boat until the entire reception was over. I almost jumped overboard and swam for it!

For Stephanie, it was being asked to offer a blessing at a car show in her town (or perhaps for her congregation? I wasn’t clear, but we all have our nutty traditions).
She sent me these photos to provide a perfect example of What To Wear At Extremely Informal Events.

(We had to include this photo for the optical illusion that, in Stephanie’s own words, “I have an American flag growing out of the top of my head.”)

Stephanie has a very chic short haircut. She looks lovely overall. My only recommendation would be to switch up the blue jeans for a pair of black jeans. YES, even for a car show, I think the blue denim is too casual and that the whole effect of the military-style jacket (which I LOVE!) and clerical collar would be better served with a pair of darker pants.

I think the untucked, form-fitting clergy shirt and form-fitting jacket are young and fresh and decidedly unfrumpy. The boots are great. But because the elements of the outfit are quite modern and youthful, Stephanie needs a bit of balance, which I would suggest come through her pants choice. I would have put her in either a pair of dark trousers with a wider leg (not “too big on her” but something with a bit of a bootleg quality or wider leg) or in a pair of black jeans.

A good general rule for the young hotties out there: wearing an outfit of all fitted garments can be a bit de trop. Because you have this TERRIBLE PROBLEM of being SO GORGEOUS for which we ALL HAVE GREAT PITY AND COMPASSION (*cough*), do add some professional balance by adding a bit of volume either on top or on bottom. This isn’t to say that you should obscure your figure, and this isn’t just a clergy recommendation: it’s about elegance and polish. If you’ve got a really fitted skirt, make sure your tops aren’t that snug. If you’ve got really fitted top, add some volume at the waistline and below. It creates a really great sillhouette and is actually a great trick for all of us.

Another basic BTFM recommendation for women is to never wear jeans to any blessing, no matter how informal. It makes the rest of the outfit that much easier to choose. Guys, I would say that you can generally wear jeans with a sports jacket but not without one. That’s just how PeaceBang rolls. I mean, if you’re blessing a Harley rally or something, knock yourself out, but you know what I mean. Stephanie is a young, mainstream Protestant pastor. If she was doing a biker ministry or blessing cars on a regular basis, I’d say that she needed bigger-badder-a** boots with chains on them. But she’s not, so she doesn’t.

Stephanie, thanks for sharing your beautiful self! I hope the cars are all sufficiently consecrated now for whatever their work in the world is.

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The Pernicious “Boyfriend” This and “Boyfriend” That

PeaceBang heartily concurs with alert reader ChaliceChick, who sent her the following e-mail:

Things about this ad that annoy me:

1. Fugly shirt
2. Fugly jeans
3. That they call them “Ex-Jeans”
4. That the “boyfriend” blazer appears to have goofy white cuffs.
5. That they use the word “bromance” at all.

The clothes are ugly, the ad copy is insipid, and you should avert your eyes. No pastor should be wearing blazers with rolled cuffs or jeans with cuffed bottoms and pumps. That shirt also needs to be dropped into the nearest landfill.

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