But she was brave.
She prevailed.
And look how lovely and polished she looks:

Here is the letter that she wrote to Yours Truly, after several other e-mail exchanges.

Well, look at me! I am proud to say that I bought my Very First
Lipstick! (If you can open the attachment, have a look–just ignore the
hair)

This has been a great learning experience for me. I got by for years on
great skin and a simple approach to everything, including makeup–I had
concealer for blemishes and mascara for fancy dress up. But at 40, I
started to notice other women my age without makeup and they all looked
so…tired. Sadly, it was really hard to just jump into cosmetics when I
had no idea what I was doing. You know I tried just heading off to the
drug store with some Peacebang advice in my head–but being faced with
the myriad of choices was intimidating and I left empty handed, feeling
absolutely pathetic. Your email response to me was so encouraging (thank you!), and it inspired me to phone a friend. Thankfully, she took pity on me. We spent an evening together not only going and picking out lipstick together, but with me getting lessons on eyeshadow, eyeliner and face powder, too. Having her with me meant that I didn’t feel like an idiot in the cosmetics department, and we laughed a ton in front of the mirror. I now feel great, and have had lots of compliments on looking good. Next up: new hair, new glasses, and new clothes. I might need more friends!

Thank you for your help on my journey. And please keep writing–I can’t
tell you how many people I have directed to your blog because it is so
SO wonderful.

Peace,
K.

*wiping away tears*
She REACHED OUT! She CONQUERED her fears!
Now what I want to know is, what color is that, because it’s SUPER cute!

Lippily yours,
PB

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A few weeks ago I blogged about buying one of those lip plumping lipsticks. I said that it made my mouth feel like it was being attacked by red ants. Alert Reader Sarahb wrote a comment that confused me; something about how if the lipstick stings, that means you’re dehydrated. I didn’t understand what she meant.

Experiment: When I went on vacation, I was generally relaxed and drinking a lot of water. After a few days I found that the lip plumping lipstick no longer stung when I applied it. I conclude, therefore, that the commenter was correct: the lip plumping formulas may not be painful if the wearer is properly hydrated.

You may return to the important work you were doing now. Thank you for your attention.

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The color is pretty.
The formula is pretty long-lasting and not too drying.
The price was reasonable.

I suppose if you don’t mind the sensations of red ants marching all over your mouth, the “plumping” claims have some merit to them, although I’m not sure if it was so much that my lips got plumper as they just started to sting. Also, don’t kiss anyone you really like until the stinging wears off, because the taste is truly poisonous.

I am wearing Maybelline’s Volume XL Seduction Plumping Lipcolor in “Born With It.” And yes, I am kidding with that expression.

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It looks very orangey-red, which certainly pops on my skin, but it also looks waxy, as though it’s just sitting on top of my lips. Therefore, I can’t recommend this shade even for darker-skinned women, on whom I think a sheerer bright pop of color would be much more chic and flattering.

As for the formula, it certainly is Super Lustrous, as promised by the name. It’s so super lustrous that I bet it would come right off on my dog’s head if I kissed him. I bet it would smear all over my coffee cup in the mornings, leaving a garish red smear. I bet if I went on a date wearing it, my date would be very fearful of getting anywhere near my BIG RED-ORANGE kisser.

Usually a new lipstick gives me a girly thrill. This one just makes me feel like a sad little clown.
Oh, mopey PeaceBang! Maybe some of your powder pigeons will go onto your Amazon.com wish list and buy you those lovely Nars lipsticks you’ve had on there for so many months.

I’m taking my BIG RED ORANGE MOUTH to bed now. Of course I will wash my face first so that my pillowcases don’t wind up all Fire and Icy.

Hi, my name is Victoria Weinstein and THESE ARE MY LIPS!

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While I did hoard the product, I am getting down to my last supplies. It is with great relief that I can tell you that I FOUND SOMETHING I LIKE ALMOST AS MUCH. No, it’s not as absolutely perfect as the Outlast All Day all-time favorite, but it’ll do, Pig, it’ll do.*

Ladies, PeaceBang is very happy to promote Revlon’s new ColorStay Ultimate Lipcolor.

This formula is a little tricky to apply because it’s a lot more liquidy than other formulas that I like. However, the result is a lighter feel on the lips and also less drying.
This stuff comes in 20 really pretty colors (some of those all-day lippies come in really garish hues! I think it’s hard to formulate a pretty color that doesn’t rub right off). At about $10, it won’t break your bank (and CVS is having a buy one-get one free sale now!).

I purchased Best Bubble for a neutral (similar to Blush Pearl Outlast All Day) and Grand Garnet for a more dramatic red, which I just LOVE for a bright pop of color. As I said, the formula is more sheer, so I avoid the Joan Crawford look even with the brighter red. I am just way too old for a waxy, heavy red mouth, kids, and any red with a bluish tint to it makes me look like the Walking Dead. This Garnet is super pretty, but there are lots of other shades to chose from, including some pretty lilac tones (another great way to assure that I look like a zombie, but you might look stunning in it!).

The product lasted all day and came off easily with a gob of Vaseline and a tissue.
Fun!

*Remember that line from the movie “Babe?” Remember how cute that movie was? The little singing mice at the start of every scene? “BAH, RAM, EWE.” I think it’s time to see “Babe” again.

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Dude A: So, this product has a really sexy name.* Cool, I dig that. It sounds like a donut. But what’s its big selling point?

Dude B: It’s supposed to last a long time.

Dude A: I don’t wear lip gloss or whatever. How long is a long time?

Dude B: The chick in research said it lasted like nine minutes or something.

Dude A: Okay, so we say it lasts for nine HOURS. Are we good on that?

Dude C (who has been pretty much asleep throughout the conversation):
I’m good with it. Let’s roll that over to Creative.

PeaceBang’s verdict:

SAVE YER MONEY!!! This goo doesn’t last for nine hours or even for ONE hour, but the nine bucks you spent on it will scald your conscience for the rest of your life.

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But because I feel heavy-laden with guilt for extolling the virtues of a lip color that is unavailable to my readers, I have searched high and low for a replacement product that I can feel good about recommending to you as a go-to neutral for everyday wear for women of a wide variety of skin colorings (you’ll have to experiment, of course: I suspect this is not the shade for very dark-skinned gals, but another in the same line might be — if so, will you let us know?).

Drum roll, please, darlings. Or a kick-line, if that works for you. Let’s line up the Rockettes and announce that Revlon ColorStay Overtime Lipcolor in “Bare Maximum” is PeaceBang’s new favorite lip color!!

Hells bells, does this stuff stay on! Remember how in “Titanic,” Kate Winslet slogged through icy thigh-high ocean water in an evening gown, running for her life and eventually almost freezing to death floating in the dark, dark sea on a bit of flotsam as her lover Jack drowned before her very eyes, causing her to bleat “Jaaaaaack! Jaaaaaack” in a way that PeaceBang can imitate with scary accuracy, and while all of this life crisis was happening, her eyeliner and rosy lips remained PERFECT? Remember that?

Well, if you get some of this lippy, you can get through your own worst day with rosy lips at the end of it, too. You can wake up, get the kids off the school, write a sermon, attend four meetings, make a hospital visit, eat a greasy spinach and feta cheese croissant, drink nineteen cups of coffee, agitate for social justice and advocate for world peace and your lips are going to be lovely when you wash your face that night.

And that’s what I call blessed assurance, darlings.

A good washcloth should do you for removal of this amazing product, but PeaceBang recommends this yummy stuff for the winter months (available at Bath & Body Works for $7.50 — fun stocking-stuffer, non?), and she also recommends that you top the Revlon lippy with some gloss throughout the day (the gloss comes with the lip color), because it is drying.

A special shout-out to my Union Theological beauties, about whom I shall be writing in days to come when I am not quite so swamped with the work of ministry as I am right now. Stay tuned, UTS gang!

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Well, I tried just that as an experiment last month while visiting my friend Tim and here are the results:

No, I don’t have an evil twin. And don’t you think the second photo is a major improvement, even though I forgot my brush and hair dryer and had no way of keeping my hair from being a flat flop? Turn out that our Moms were right — a little lippy keeps you zippy.
Boys can get the same effect by combing their hair, washing their face and trimming any facial scragglies.

P.S. I find it interesting that the light was not altered in any way whatsoever between the Before and After photo, which were taken about one minute apart. They were both flash photos. So what gives? Did the flash reflect off the shiny lip gloss or something?

P.P.S. Now you know why I use eyebrow powder: one eyebrow grows much thicker than the other — that’s not a plucking error. I like the thicker brow so I fill in the other one to match.

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Why, it’s none other than BURT’S BEES LIP BALM!! One of our favorite, minty lip softening products!!

Remember, though, that Burt’s Bees does not provide SPF. We discussed this here. Read the comments, too, because we have since recommended more products that will protect your kisser from the harsh rays of El Sol.

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