Except that I realize I am essentially eating the stuff.

So from time to time, I remind myself of that fact and vow to only put on my lips what I would actually not mind knowing that I had ingested pounds of over the course of my lippy-wearing lifetime. The trouble is, a lot of the products made with honorable ingredients kind of stink. Burt’s Bees is lovely but wears off in about ten minutes. Kiss My Face is waxy and hard to apply. Alba tastes funny.

Giving my effort one more try, I discovered Crazy Rumors lip balm at the health food store check-out the other day. Thinking guiltily about how often I have swabbed my lips with Bubble Gum Lip Smackers of late (I keep one in my desk drawer at all times), I read the label and purchased it. This stuff is great. It’s made in Boca Raton, FL and contains ingredients like jojoba oil, shea butter, olive oil, and peppermint oil. I applied some two hours ago and it’s still on my lips and doing its job even though I have been drinking and eating snacks. Since I wear drying long-lasting lip color formulas during the work week, I like to give my lips at least one day off and just slather them with balm throughout the day. This is going to be my new fave.

I mean, I LOVE Rosebud Salve but I’m pretty sure that’s straight petroleum.

Hey dudes, your lips get really dry and flaky, too. Just sayin’. Because they have a flavor I think you’ll really like!! COFFEE!! Yum!

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But she was brave.
She prevailed.
And look how lovely and polished she looks:

Here is the letter that she wrote to Yours Truly, after several other e-mail exchanges.

Well, look at me! I am proud to say that I bought my Very First
Lipstick! (If you can open the attachment, have a look–just ignore the
hair)

This has been a great learning experience for me. I got by for years on
great skin and a simple approach to everything, including makeup–I had
concealer for blemishes and mascara for fancy dress up. But at 40, I
started to notice other women my age without makeup and they all looked
so…tired. Sadly, it was really hard to just jump into cosmetics when I
had no idea what I was doing. You know I tried just heading off to the
drug store with some Peacebang advice in my head–but being faced with
the myriad of choices was intimidating and I left empty handed, feeling
absolutely pathetic. Your email response to me was so encouraging (thank you!), and it inspired me to phone a friend. Thankfully, she took pity on me. We spent an evening together not only going and picking out lipstick together, but with me getting lessons on eyeshadow, eyeliner and face powder, too. Having her with me meant that I didn’t feel like an idiot in the cosmetics department, and we laughed a ton in front of the mirror. I now feel great, and have had lots of compliments on looking good. Next up: new hair, new glasses, and new clothes. I might need more friends!

Thank you for your help on my journey. And please keep writing–I can’t
tell you how many people I have directed to your blog because it is so
SO wonderful.

Peace,
K.

*wiping away tears*
She REACHED OUT! She CONQUERED her fears!
Now what I want to know is, what color is that, because it’s SUPER cute!

Lippily yours,
PB

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We were just discussing the problem of eyeshadow making our lids itchy, and PB wants to share her success with a cheapie little drugstore product called Almay Bright Eyes Base + Concealer.

This doesn’t come in a wide variety of colors and it doesn’t work well as an actual brightener or concealer for the undereye area (if you have real circles to conceal), but I found that it totally solved the problem of itchy eyelids, so I’m happy. I used it for two days and wore lots of shadow to see if it would help it stay through the day and keep my lids from irritating. It succeeded on both counts.

If you buy it, be VERY light with your squeezing; the product comes out very quickly and you only need a little dab per eyelid. The brush it comes with is useless, so just use the finger God gave you to blend the product on the lid.

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I usually just wear gel eyeliner and mascara, but I do enjoy wearing eyeshadow at times as well. I own lots of them and they’re fun to play with when I have the time and a special occasion.

I have found of late, however, that all sorts of shadows make my eyelids very itchy and irritated, and that even wearing foundation make-up as a primer doesn’t help. I’ve done some research on primers and have heard that Too Faced Shadow Insurance works great (and it claims to be soothing to the eyelid) and Urban Decay Prime Potion is also excellent. Both have a silicone base, while Mac Paint Pot in “Painterly” gets very high reviews for being a cream shadow that works amazingly well as a base (brown or black-skinned ladies would want to choose a darker shade from the Paint Pot line).

Too Faced Shadow Insurance.

Urban Decay Primer Potion. The applicator weirds me out.

Mac Paint Pot in “Painterly.”

Have you tried any of these products? Others that you’d swear on a stack of Bibles I should try? Any non-itchy-creating shadows that you think are so beautiful, blendable, fabulously pigmented and great enough to bow down and worship like a golden calf?* Let’s get idolatrous and hear about them!! Because eyeshadow is FUN and way less expensive than a new outfit!

*Please, kittens, don’t recommend Clinique, because PeaceBang thinks Clinique shadows are super-duper whimpy. They’re the “Did you really spend $16.50 for that shadow? Because I can’t see a dang thang on yer eye” product.

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It’s called ROC Extra Magical PeaceBang Special Eye-Line Reducing Anti-Aging SPF Supercalafragalisticexpealidocious Cream Just For Clergy and I found it at Target. Ha ha! Just kidding! It’s just that, as time goes by, my brain cells get used up with actual information and I have less of an ability to remember these products’ ridiculously long names, especially when they spell perfectly ordinary words like “correction” as “correxion.” Is that British, or what?

Both men and women, if there’s one skin-care product, aside from SPF moisturizer, that you should be using EVERY day, it’s eye cream. Some people age beautifully and continue to look vibrant even as their skin wrinkles and dries out. Honestly, is that you? The people I know who do manage it exercise daily, are in fantastic shape, and/or just happen to have an internal radiant beauty or plain good genes. Looking around at clergy gatherings, I must say that they are a rarity, while most of us just look wan or even haggard. I continue to despair that clergy of all ages go forth in public leadership without any attention to their photographability or visual “stage” presence in the pulpit. Young ones with bare, too-casual faces and whispy fly-away hair and older ones with sagging bags around their eyes and blotchy, oily or dried-out skin (and no, a suntan does NOT count as “make-up” — in fact, it often makes matters worse by highlighting sun damage and further drying things out) when just some simple attention would help so much. Augh! It pains me, it really does. All that money and fuss about vestments and pretty clothes, when the face is drab, drab, drab. And believe me, a “done” face can help so much when you’re having a Bad Hair Day.

You communicate so much with your face. ESPECIALLY if you eschew cosmetic enhancement, you should at least devote yourself to some skin care regimen.

Benefit High Beam is a wonderful product that PeaceBang calls her “glowy-rested face in a bottle.” I sweep a line of it across each upper cheekbone, blend up into the hairline, dot a tiny amount on the upper eyelid and it catches the light and makes me look dewy and rested even if I’ve had three hours of sleep (which I do very infrequently, since I think that being a Sleep Martyr is a very bad idea for any clergyperson, but maybe that deserves its own column). It costs $24 but lasts and lasts – I’ve had my little bottle for over a year and it still has plenty left.

A LITTLE BLUSH WOULDN’T KILL YOU, EITHER.

Kiss of peace, PB

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A few weeks ago I blogged about buying one of those lip plumping lipsticks. I said that it made my mouth feel like it was being attacked by red ants. Alert Reader Sarahb wrote a comment that confused me; something about how if the lipstick stings, that means you’re dehydrated. I didn’t understand what she meant.

Experiment: When I went on vacation, I was generally relaxed and drinking a lot of water. After a few days I found that the lip plumping lipstick no longer stung when I applied it. I conclude, therefore, that the commenter was correct: the lip plumping formulas may not be painful if the wearer is properly hydrated.

You may return to the important work you were doing now. Thank you for your attention.

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The color is pretty.
The formula is pretty long-lasting and not too drying.
The price was reasonable.

I suppose if you don’t mind the sensations of red ants marching all over your mouth, the “plumping” claims have some merit to them, although I’m not sure if it was so much that my lips got plumper as they just started to sting. Also, don’t kiss anyone you really like until the stinging wears off, because the taste is truly poisonous.

I am wearing Maybelline’s Volume XL Seduction Plumping Lipcolor in “Born With It.” And yes, I am kidding with that expression.

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I CAN report, however, that I found two absolutely amazing mascaras. The first is Define-A-Lash Volume Mascara by Maybelline. I picked it up after reading one of those product display posters that you see in the cosmetics section, that listed all Maybelline’s mascaras on a spectrum with “defining” on one end and “lengthening” on the other. Until seeing that poster, it had never dawned on me that my eyelash length is just fine, thank you, and that definition/volume is where I need the most help. Define-A-Lash was on the “definition” end, and so I tried it. It is fabulous–my lashes look a 1000 times fuller. It’s the first mascara I’ve ever used that I’m able to make look natural on my bottom lashes. For me, it’s way, way better than the Great Lash mascara I swore by for years, and even better than the Estee Lauder More Than Mascara that I used back in my yuppie days.

The other great mascara find was Bare Naturale mascara by Loreal, which was also very defining, but with a more natural feel, as the name implies. I use it when I want a subtler, “you think I’m not wearing makeup although in fact I am” look. I believe it was a bit pricier than the Maybelline, though.

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Lancome Oscillation Powerbooster.
And we still haven’t found a cure for cancer or a decent male birth control method.

Any Mascara Mavens out there care to comment on this phenomenon?

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