Lord have mercy on my poor soul, children.
I received a catalog in the mail from Deva Lifewear, whose slogan is “A way of life since 1978.”
I opened this thing and I had to sit down, it was such a breathtaking discovery. It was the Holy Grail of Frumpy Clothing!! It’s all there! Click on the images to enlarge but don’t say I didn’t warn you.
We have the Sisterwife Jumper, favored by Christian Education ministers everywhere:
We have the Tie-Dye Muu-Muu, favored by Boomer clergy women who still live in 1968 in their souls and are devoted to looking like they do:
We have the Creative Vest favored by the earnestly clueless who don’t realize they look like they’re auditioning to play one of the rustics in “A Midsummer Night’s Dream” (Almighty Jehovah, the mint green blouse! Gadzooks!):
And finally, we have the Harmless, Sexless Pastors In Cotton Who Just Introduced Themselves To You But Whose Names You Have Already Forgotten (Because You Need an Espresso Shot Just To Stay Awake Around Them):
I support your small business and I love natural cotton garments more than anything. I think you seem like swell folks. I feel so badly about writing this post that I might even order something from you, like maybe a long nightgown. Because you never know, I might someday get married and need a long, moss green nighty with a ruffled bottom for the nights that my husband chooses me to bed with him, and not one of the other sisterwives. OK, seriously now, the front vent shell top on page 36 is actually kind of cute and I really, really want to love you and speak well of you, so please design more pieces like that — with a shape and a cut that might conceivably be mistaken for a garment that people in 2011 would choose to wear. Thank you so much and all the best. Love, PeaceBang