Beauty Tips for Ministers
Because you're in the public eye, and God knows you need to look good.
The 80’s Are Back, Fashion-Wise (*sigh*)
October 31, 2009 on 2:16 pm | In PeaceBang Personal | 6 CommentsSo if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.
Just kidding. I SO would not.
But this, I did. On e-Bay. I’ll wear it on days off with leggings/tights and boots and a hoodie. And I will sing Cindy Lauper songs while I do.
Or I may get it in the mail and think, “Oh, sweet Jesus. What was I thinking?” In which case it goes with me in the give-away bag to Nicaragua, and no one gets hurt.
Happy Halloween From PB And The Bumble Beagle
October 31, 2009 on 11:12 am | In PeaceBang Personal | 3 Comments
(“Oh noes! The devil gots me!”)
(“How I goings to gets these things off my earz?”)
On Not Showing Thigh
October 30, 2009 on 6:20 pm | In Clergy Image, Poise and Decorum, The Naughty Corner | 9 CommentsHafhida said in the comments that she doesn’t show cleavage or thigh. Which reminded me of a recent clergy gathering I attended, where one of the attendees wore a short smock with tights and ridiculous little felt or wool elf shoes. She looked, in a word, ridiculous. I’m sorry, but PeaceBang has no patience for this kind of infantilizing precious-artsy look, especially since it’s easy enough for creative people who CARE about their image (and that of the Church) to translate that look into adult, professional terms. Boho is fine. Looking like a First Grade Wanna-Be is not.
I sat at this meeting at this minister, who sat with her legs crossed, displaying a wide expanse of thigh to everyone in the room.
Just horrifying. SO, so wrong. I kind of gave her a disapproving look once or twice when she would cross her legs, but to no avail. I mean, I visibly winced. I wanted to say, “Dear colleague! No one needs to know quite that much about your thighs. Please stop inflicting them on us.”
By the way, this has nothing to do with the relative niceness of anyone’s thighs. It’s about propriety, not aesthetics.
Don’t let that be you, mon pidgies. Boys, you’re not exempt, y’know. No one wants to see your hamhocks hanging out of floppy shorts, either.
Back-Smoothing Bra
October 30, 2009 on 12:02 am | In Plus Sizes, Women's Clothing | 2 CommentsBuying sensible, work-horse bras is at the top of no gal’s list of Fun Things To Do or Fun Ways To Spend Your Money, but it has to be done. You’ve got to get in there, get measured, try the bras on, marvel at the huge discrepancies among different styles, throw your back out contorting yourself trying to fasten some of them, and get the mad giggles at the sheer ridiculosity of some of the styles (“Oh my God!” I said today. “This isn’t a bra, it’s a serving platter for breasts!”).
Now, some of my dear readers are in no need of this style of bra, but just in case there might be a few sisters out there with “puppies” (PeaceBang’s cute name for plain old back fat), this style is a reported winner:
Let me know if you’ve tried it and it works!
I Live In Fear
October 29, 2009 on 8:55 pm | In Cultural Commentary | 20 CommentsBecause of the return of all things 1980’s, PeaceBang lives in mortal terror that STIRRUPS MIGHT COME BACK INTO FASHION.
*shudder*
LOL Boots
October 29, 2009 on 10:57 am | In Cultural Commentary | 9 CommentsWhile shopping Overstock.com for a new collar for Max, I came across these boots. They’re called, in a bow to the art of subtlety, Promiscuous Lustfulness Red Patent Leather Boots.
I thought you’d enjoy them as much as I did.
File this under Exhibit A for What No Pastor Should Wear On a Date, Or Ever.
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