Beauty Tips for Ministers

PeaceBang on Sabbatical Travels

Dearest and cherished powder pigeons,
PeaceBang will be in Europe until May 30. Enjoy the archives in the meanwhile!

Kiss of peace,
PB

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Great Hair Product

This leave-in conditioner by Carol’s Daughter is meant for curly hair but I bought it to hydrate my dry, horribly grown-out layers. I am amazed by how soft it makes my hair. Even better is that, unlike the case with typical conditioners, my hair doesn’t get dry by the end of the day.

I’ve used it twice and love the lemongrass smell and fact that a tiny bit suffices for a whole head of hair (in fact, I’ve over-applied it both times, making my hair look rather greasy –but since I’m not working and wearing a baseball cap all the time, who cares?).

For my money, this stuff out-performs the all the glossing serums and heavy hair masque conditioners out there. I think it would work very well on all kinds of “ethnic hair,” too. I’m still itching to cut a bunch of my lanky locks off but know that international travel will be far easier with hair I can pull back in a ponytail or bun. Thanks to Carol’s Daughter, I think I can make it through this trip without taking out my Swiss Army knife and hacking off about six inches.

Frizzy heads of the world, guys or gals, I think you’re gonna dig this stuff big time. I bought a little bottle for an exorbitant $12 but I estimate that the bottle will last for about a year even if I use it every time I shampoo. Hi, softy lemony-smellin’ head!

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Skin Spackle

Lizard Eater, who is preparing for a trip to DISNEY WORLD!, paused long enough in her bustling about to send this hot tip to PeaceBang,

Okay, before I travel the world by going to Epcot and you travel the world by, you know, TRAVELING THE WORLD …

I have run across the tip twice now, so had to pass it on to Beauty Tips for Ministers. Monistat chafing relief powder gel (found with the feminine hygiene stuff). I bought it because apparently it’s also good smeared on your feet and ankles (to avoid blisters). But get this — “it’s also good to use as a makeup base. It makes you makeup go on really smooth.”

How funny! But you know, a dermatologist turned me onto using Milk of Magnesia for a face mask, so who knows …

My heavens! PeaceBang is all flushed trying to imagine what Monistat Chafing Relief Powder Gel is doing in the feminine hygiene aisle! What kind of chafing, pray tell, does it claim to cure? Perhaps you shouldn’t answer that question, dear readers.
Anyway, we love fun product tips here at BTFM and this certainly seems to be a two-for-one, or even a three-for-one (if you consider the Milk of Magnesia tip a freebie).

PeaceBang has noticed a serious hard-sell by her favorite cosmetics companies for foundation primers lately, and doesn’t understand who would add an extra layer of pore-closing goo to their skin if they didn’t have to. Perhaps television actors or models or televangelists might have use for such a thing as Spackle by Laura Geller (it’s really called Spackle), but it seems to PeaceBang that the average Rev. Joe or Jill can do fine without this extra step.

Bon Voyage, Lizard Eater! May all of our trekking about yield nary a blister.

Kiss of peace, PB

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No Sneakers, Please!

Lovely reader Gina sent this in,

I am not a minister but my minister turned me on to your blog and I am a devoted reader. Kudos for doing your part to stamp out frumpiness! To that end, I’d like to suggest a discussion about not wearing athletic sneakers unless you are actually working out. An explanation of a “non-athletic” sneaker for casual wear would be a public service!

Dear Gina,
Thank you for your letter and for your excellent suggestion. You reasonably suggest a “discussion” about wearing athletic sneakers outside of the gym, but PeaceBang is going to make this much easier although less democratic:

PEOPLE, UNLESS YOU’RE GOING TO THE GYM, DON’T WEAR SNEAKERS. THANK YOU.

Seriously, though. I am in the process of packing for a long trip abroad and anticipating with much dismay the sight of American tourists sightseeing in Big Wanking White Sneakers. On one hand, I’m grateful that anyone is lucky and solvent enough to travel. On the other, I think it sets U.S.-French relations back ever so much when we storm the Bastille (or the Louvre, or Notre Dame) in our big ole sneaks and baseball caps. There’s such a thing as Beauty, and it is revered as a transcendent reality in much of the world (the French, for example, are known for their devotion to it). So I for one am not about to visit the Hagia Sofia in a pair of Big Wanking Sneakers. Nor shall I defile the temple of Nike in a pair of Nikes. What I will do is wear black walking shoes that are like sneakers in comfort and construction but do not scream, “I’m From the USA Where Sloppiness Is Our Expression of Freedom!”

(One caveat: as far as PeaceBang is concerned, the very elderly may wear whatever they like on their feet when touring. That also goes for veterans. And probably some other special honored people I haven’t thought to include right now. But for those of us who are fairly hale and hearty and have options, let’s opt for something more appropriate that Big Wanking Sneakers.)

That goes for our ordinary, non-traveling lives, too. Sneakers are for the gym. And it’s really not beyond any of our capabilities to change shoes after a work-out. There are lots and lots of comfortable, foot and ankle-supporting shoe options out there. Even black sneakers are better than the Big Wanking White Ones.

As far as “non-athletic sneaker” for casual wear that Gina references, that would be something like this:

Very cute, very kicky, if that’s your thing (I don’t love the Asics for the guys in the top photo, but the Pumas for gals are right cute).

But this cute colorful kicks thing can get out of hand. I can just hear the “Bozo The Clown” theme when I look at these.

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Don’t Judge

Darlings,
I’m sorry. I have become a person who wears jewelry with her pets’ faces on it.

It was one of those nights. I was over-tired, missing my cat something fierce (she has been in the care of her Uncle Peter since January to spare her the stress of Human Lady’s constant comings and goings) and I saw a google ad for designing personal pendants that caught my fancy. I went to the site and noodled around with designs until I found one that made me laugh aloud with stupid joy. And I bought the bloody thing.

Max on one side.

Ermengarde on the other.

This is the sort of insanity that can occur during sabbatical. And I apologize.

(But I TOTALLY love it and not only will I probably kiss it goodnight while I’m away all next month, but I’ll rub it like a good luck talisman on my flights from Boston to Paris, Paris to Istanbul, Istanbul to Athens, Athens to Bucharest, Bucharest to Paris and Paris to Boston).

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Both a Borrower AND a Lender Be!

Whilst visiting some seminarians in the Big Apple this past autumn, I had a wonderful afternoon helping a talented young theologian prepare her outfit for presenting at the AAR. As it turned out, the suit she had purchased on sale at J. Crew just didn’t fit her right. I advised that she return it and get her precious money back. A friend came into the dorm just about that time and offered some of her own suits for her friend to try on. The friend left and came back from her own apartment with several options, one of which turned out to be perfect for our scholar.

What a wonderful solution!

Thinking about the economy and recognizing that shopping is neither a viable nor fun prospect for many, let PeaceBang suggest that we break down the walls of pride and propriety a little bit and seriously consider sharing clothes or accessories with colleagues.

Why not? Are we not sisters and brothers in Christ? If your sister has a formal dinner to attend and you have a Little Black Dress in her size, should you not offer both your LBD AND the dressy cardigan that goes with it? Yea, and that cute faux croc clutch bag, too, saith the LORD?

Consider the practical aspect: most of us have our basic workaday wardrobe such as it is, but how many of us could make use of borrowing privileges for special events and conferences? If the Unitarian Universalists have their General Assembly from June 21-25 and the United Church of Christers have theirs in May, why shouldn’t UCC and UU clergy swap Presenter-Worthy outfits? Who would know? Who would care? If I have tons of dressy shoes and my sister minister wears my size but owns only Bierkenstocks, why not open my shoe collection to her for her candidating week with a prospective congregation? Why wouldn’t I save her both the time and the expense of buying a pair of heels if she can borrow mine?

Have a funeral to do? One of your first? Don’t own a wool overcoat or classic trench to wear to the graveside service? Call your colleague across town or in the district and borrow his. An overcoat is expensive; why stress about acquring a wardrobe staple you simply can’t afford when you’re trying to prepare to officiate at your first funeral service? Borrow it! And keep your eye on the sales, because you’ll eventually need one.

Boston area female seminarians with a size 6.5 foot and size 16, 18 or 20 bod, seriously — if you can make the drive to my closet, mi closet es su closet. I would SO much rather we shopped in my closet for an interview outfit for you before you shopped retail. Don’t be afraid to ask. Let’s do this for each other. Seamstresses and sewing men, you too. Bartering is great; you hem a friend’s pair of pants and they can cook you dinner or give you a massage or return the favor in some other way.

How about you? Where are you, what’s your size, and whattya got?

Hint: I’m not going to GA this year. Who needs to borrow a couple of lightweight blazers, a really cute white skirt, comfortable, pretty sandals or some really cute necklaces for Salt Lake City?

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