Beauty Tips for Ministers

It Wasn’t Eye Shadow!

My little sweetie got into some very old mouse poison yesterday and had to be rushed to the vet to have nasty things done to him (induced vomiting, charcoal tablets). He’ll be okay, but I just wanted to tell you the one funny thing about the whole terrible episode:

I heard Max chewing or playing with something that sounded “illegal” (I call him The Illegal Beagle when he gets into mischief) so I called him to me to see what he was up to. He came trotting around the corner into my study with his muzzle all dusted with a bright turquoise powder that I thought was one of my lovely Sephora eyeshadows, stolen from my dressing table. It’s a good thing I investigated, for it turned out to be a very old mouse trap set five years ago by the exterminator and left in the mud room with poison bait still in it.

Please learn from my horrible mistake and get all toxic substances out of the house or behind locked doors, where curious beasts and children can’t get at them. I thought I had made the house entirely hound-proofed when I adopted Max a year ago, but I missed this one trap and he could have become very sick or died because of my negligence.

Eyeshadow, on the other hand, probably wouldn’t cause that much harm!

sorry for barfing on the love seat, mom
That’s okay, Max. I’m just glad you’re going to be fine.

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Good Advice For Pantsy People

PeaceBang, I just read an older post about your favorite pants that you bought in 2002 and how you wish you had another pair. Just in case you don’t get alerted to read comments on old posts, I’m sending you an email.

Take your favorite pants to your local tailor and have her/him make a copy for you. You can even have have them made in another color, with a higher waist, remove the belt loops, add some cuffs, you name it. Not only do you get brand new pants, you’re helping keep a local business in business, so you get to feel twice as good.

Thanks, Alert Reader!

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To Someone Sweet For Gifts Received

Greetings, darlings,
A few weeks ago I got back from traveling and picked up my mail and opened it all at a friend’s house. Included in the mail was a surprise package full of gifts from Amazon.com with several items from my wish list in it. A gift note said something like, “Dear PeaceBang, thank you for helping me feel confident and prepared for my recent interview before the Such-And-Such Committee. Love, _______.”

I was so touched, and I would certainly have written this lovely person a thank you note for my gifties (my friend and I watched “There Will Be Blood” and SCREAMED about how excellent it was — I LOVE that movie!) but I lost the little paper with her address on it in the fracas of moving from house to house.

A terrible breach in ettiquette and for that I am most sorry. Please, if you’re reading this, let me know who you are so I can thank you properly.

Love, PB

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Casual Priest: You’ve Seen This, Right?

From Swedish designer Maria Sjodin

Can you imagine anything this gorgeous and stylish happening for clergy in the U.S.? Come to think of it, I’ll have to ask my Swedish friend Lotta if she’s noticing any super stylin’ female priests in Stockholm.

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Erin, Part II: Erin At Church, Youth Group And Pastoral Visits

Erin?
I feel like there’s something you’re trying to express with this blazer. Of all your pieces, this is the one where I’m most like, “Okay, I don’t think this exactly works but I feel like she’s making a statement of some sort, and that’s good.”

The pants are nice and the line you create with the trousers and the cute round-toed shoes is very classic. Good, good, good. You’re a long-limbed woman and that stature (I don’t know how tall you are but you read as tall) can be part of the power of your presence.

This blazer, though. The color is really hard to work with, as it tends to make any light-skinned person look sallow. The cut feels skimpy, and I’m actually wondering if this is maybe a grad school or college-era thrift store find that was awesome at the time but isn’t going to make the cut in your sophisticated future. I’m afraid it’s a very dated cut and style (pockets dead giveaway) and that although it may have been a fun signature piece at one time, I think it’s probably time to save it for St. Patty’s Day.

OR…. another idea would be to play up the kind of fun, wack vintage feel of this jacket with more creative pants. Like if you had really wide-legged cuffed trousers and paired them with a great chunky boot, wore your hair up in a sloppy knot and added a big, fun cocktail ring or a stack of big bangles on your arm, I’d know you were being whimsical with the jacket, and not wearing it as a serious professional piece. You know what I mean? If you’re being fun, make sure we know you’re being fun. And of course you wouldn’t wear that all to church on Sunday, but you could wear it to a collegial meeting or something.

Speaking of fun, here’s Pastor Erin going off to meet with the Youth Group:

Miss Erin, are those PLAID FLATS I see peeping out of the bottom of your pants? How totally cute! We love your hair up! So I’m thinking, why not add a hoodie to this outfit? Like a nice knit hoodie (not sweatshirt material) in black or some fun color? That would be wicked cute and who cares if you look young with the youth? It’s a major benefit to look young in that setting!

Here’s my favorite look of Erin’s. It’s her Pastoral Visits Look:

Love the hair style, Erin. It looks mature and it’s very becoming. You could use a bit of volume at the top, but I love the ‘do on you.
Love the earrings. For some reason they seem much more “you” than the other earrings you’ve had on.
The V-neck sweater vest over the clericals works for me: I think it’s a neat idea, and it’s a nice, clean but feminine sillhouette. I’d add a skinny belt over it to add more definition to the outfit because I do think you could use one key accessory here.
You have such a great collection of really pretty flats! Where do you find them?
The bag is great (I’m biased: I happen to have the exact same one). It’s a great color, very professional, and you just look fully confident and individual here. Yes, you look young but not unsure-of-yourself young. Just young, and fresh, and energetic. Which is a wonderful thing.

So, readers, please do comment. The whole point of doing this online was to engage the BTFM community. Have you gotten any new ideas from this? Does it help to have a real model to refer to in talking about those intangibles like image and (my favorite) “polish?”

Some day a reader is going to write to me, “Why do you think all ministers should be Polish? What have you got against, for instance, Czechs?” I swear.

A huge kiss of peace and thanks to Erin for sending in the photos and offering to do an online consult. I asked her if she wanted to do it interview style but that will have to be the next volunteer.

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The Erin Series: Part I (Erin At the Office And Graveside)

Hola, kids!! This is Erin. She’s a newbie in ministry, all of 26 years old and in a pastorate in Western PA. She has written to PeaceBang for a consultation and had said, “Yes! Let’s do this publicly!” She has obligingly and awesomely provided photos of herself in various outfits that she would wear doing regular pastoral things, so without further ado: HERE’S ERIN!!

Erin’s biggest irritation regarding her ministerial image is about … surprise… her youth. “Aren’t ya awful YOUNG to be a pastor laydee?” is something she hears all the time (although admittedly, she probably doesn’t hear it in that ridiculous caricature of a hillbilly accent. We’re just having some fun here). So we’re going to focus on some tips that might help Erin gain a bit more confidence and gain a bit more mature polish. Now, if you’re one of those softies who likes to come on this site and say, “I can’t believe that you OFFER YOUR OPINION TO YOUR READERS, PB! YOU’RE SOOOO MEAN! I THINK SHE’S ABSOLUTELY PERFECT IN EVERY WAY!! KUDOS FOR BEING SO BEAUTIFUL!” I just want to warn you in advance: I will be offering honest feedback to Erin. Because that’s what I do for people. I assume that they know I think they’re gorgeous, glowing stars in the religious leadership firmament (not my line, got it from a movie) and that it is BECAUSE I am a huge fan of their existence that I take the time to pay extra special individual attention to them. Okay? So here we go.

My overall impression of Erin is that she’s doing a fine job picking out some basics that work well for her, but that she would benefit from a more polished hair style, a bit more care in the fit of her garments, andf finally, finding a few signature pieces that help her have more of an individual presence. Right now what I see if serious, nice-looking young gal who looks a bit generic, and there’s no need for that. If Erin and I were together I’d ask her, “Erin, what kind of clothes do you LOVE? What colors make you psyched to get up in the morning? What kind of impression — beyond “appropriate” — do you want to make? What would you like your clothes to communicate about you?” And then we’d go to the store and try on whatever fascinating combos she felt like trying on — without worrying about the collar for a moment — and let her gravitate with natural enthusiasm for things way outside her comfort zone, just to see what was fun for her.

We might also sit down with a pile of magazines and let her go wild with scissors, clipping images of all kinds that she resonates with and would like to incorporate into her wardrobe. Images from nature, snips of color, architecture, art, movement. You and your ministry are a work of art. How can we fit a touch of that into your daily appearance?

That said, here is Erin dressed for a day at the office:

First, the good: Her outfit has excellent proportions, she’s dressed entirely appropriately, and she looks comfortable and neat.
Now, the suggestions: In order to look more sophisticated and professional, I would recommend a cut and color for our Miss Rev. Her hair would look lovely in a smoother style, and her ends need a trim and conditioning. A nice wash of color would even everything out, as there seems to be a grown-out color on her ends (or perhaps sun fading).
I’m not loving that sweater, as it’s just somewhat drab for a vibrant young pastor. Also note the weird lumpiness we get with the collared shirt under the fitted crewneck. The skirt is a terrific cut (perfect length and fit!) but the denim with gold stitching does look very youthful and super casual. My recommendation:
A v-necked cardigan in a royal blue or other vibrant color, worn with the collar shirt and a skinny belt around it (Erin has such a lovely waist! Why not feature it?).

This isn’t a V-neck, which would look better with the clericals, and the belt isn’t the classic I had in mind, but you get the idea. Cardigan by Express.

If you can find a skirt just like that in black or brown or blue jersey or wool or gabardine, Erin, you’ve got a winner.
Pantyhose: Glad you’re wearing them, think you could have more fun with them. Swap the ordinary nude for a pair of opaque black hose now and then for a much more sophisticated look.
Shoes – cute!

Erin looks like she’s wearing a cute pair of dangly earrings and very delicate bracelet and ring. Here’s where I recommend you really bust out as an individual, Erin: I don’t feel like you’re wearing those accessories because you LOVE them or because they represent anything to you but “I should put on some earrings.” If you want to up the maturity ante, look for signature pieces that you JUST LOVE — interesting and bold accessories that you can add to the more delicate pieces to make a stronger visual statement.

I look terrible in bracelets (tiny, child-size hands and short arms but wow, what a stunning piece!)

Here’s Erin in her Graveside Presiding Outfit:

Very serviceable. Just needs a bit of detail attention: I would brush the hair back in a low chignon, put on a brighter lipstick (when we’re presiding, we don’t want our faces to get lost, and Erin’s face can get a bit lost behind her glasses). Erin, the coat is terrific but it looks like it’s a size or so too big for you in the bottom. Is it? Since that’s such an excellent and classic piece, I think it would be worth it to take it to a tailor if there’s as much excess material there as it looks like there might be. A pair of nice black leather gloves and button-type earrings and you’re all set here. May they rest in peace.

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