Beauty Tips for Ministers

Jackets, Jackets, Jackets: Have Some Fun!

Darlings, this season is ALL all jackets and there are oodles of fun ones out there! Why not get out of the typical Working Girl Blazer, whose lines can look so classic as to be positively boring, and take a look at some of the new styles that have been in for a couple of years, and whose sillhouettes seem here to stay, fashion-wise (which means 5 years or so)?

Regardez, pigeons! It’s all about this kind of thing now:

And not so much about this any more:

It’s also totally not about any of these blazers from Chadwicks, which are just ugly for lots of interesting reasons: ugly, cheap-looking colors, ugly plaid, ugly 80’s patterns and ugly, trying-to-be-fashionable cuts. Yikereenos!!

It might be a little bit of a challenge, but see if you can step out of the boxy blazer-with-blouse look. There are beautiful options out there that can add a whole lot of flair to your wardrobe and that are especially great for church events when you want to look like a person who actually has a sense of fun and doesn’t need to be all buttoned up all the time. Of course, that might go against the clerical image you’re trying to project but if it doesn’t, but all means enjoy some of the terrific new jackets on the racks this season. They’ve been on sale long enough that you can find some very nice ones considerably discounted. PeaceBang just scored a very flattering black cotton jacket much like the top photo for $19 at Macy’s, marked down from $75. I’ll wear it with a pencil skirt and some heels, and I’m still figuring out what blouses and shirts will work with the cut.

And now, back to The Sermon That Does NOT Want To Be Written!!!!!!!

Juicy People

Today I was out and aboot, writing a sermon IN MY MIND (gosh, it was a good one, too! Let’s just keep our fingers crossed that the Holy Spirit will me re-create it tomorrow morning, ’cause today was too beautiful and too full of fighting dust bunnies in the house, cooking and deep breathing to get it out through my fingers and into the computer), and lookin’ at the beautiful people in the world. Some delighting in the sunny day, some too frenetically going about their business to make eye contact, some young, some old, some looking like hell on wheels, some looking like juicy grace on a bun.

I decided that the people who looked like juicy grace on a bun all had one thing in common: they radiated some kind of energy and purpose, an inner light, a joy that wasn’t a scary-ebullient “Up With People” kind of joy, but a down deep This All Has Meaning And I’m Glad to Be Here Despite All the Hills and Valleys I’ve Been Up And Down joy. They seemed like they were carrying an interesting story around with them; you wanted to stop them and say, “Would you tell me your story?” You knew it would be good, because they have obviously been paying attention to life and weaving some sense out it.

These folks weren’t necessarily smiling up a storm, they just looked alive and attentive. One heavyset, middle-aged woman who was no one’s idea of a traditional beauty looked like so much fun wearing a jaunty beret and driving in traffic on the expressway with an expression of total patience, good-naturedness and openness. I wanted to wave at her just for fun but I didn’t want to weird her out or cause her to wrack her brain for the rest of the evening going, “Who the HECK was that woman in the Honda who waved at me? Do I know her?”

Wouldn’t it be great if ministers were the kind of people who looked open, attentive, full of joy, humor and brimming with good stories? Instead of so often dragging around exhausted, put-upon, drab, completely lost in church concerns and obviously having totally lost perspective and connection to the larger world outside the parish? I’m not picking on you, kittens — I’ve been there, too and I have the photos to prove it. I’m just asking all of us to consider: when someone sees us walking by in the store, striding down the hospital corridor, or driving by on the expressway, what are we communicating non-verbally through our facial expressions, posture and demeanor? What would it take for you to look like juicy grace on a bun? Does your outward bearing betray the fact that you’re BFFs with the Light of the World? Let it shine, boys and girls. Let it shine.

I ADORE The Bag, and Bless Your Heart!!!

It came in a box today.

I have been expecting a Skinceuticals purchase or some Snapfish photos so when I saw the large, light box methought, “What’s this?” I opened it and squealed with joy, because some generous and lovely human being had sent me the beautiful Pacific Design computer bag I had added, and then forgotten about, to my Amazon Wish List some time ago.

I have been hunting for the perfect laptop bag for some time and although I purchased a wonderful vegetarian briefcase as a Christmas gift for myself by Mat & Nat, and it does hold my laptop, it’s not really wide enough to carry anything else, it isn’t padded, and it’s got a long shoulder strap that doesn’t give the best support to carrying a computer. I am happy to have it and use it a lot, but it hasn’t really met my need for a good computer carrying case.

Well, mercy me. I’m in BAG HEAVEN. I found a PERFECT Giani Bernini mustard-colored handbag for 60% off at Macy’s two weekends ago (I’m very particular about bags — and I had been searching for exactly these dimensions, this color and this design at this price for years) and now this wonderful anonymous gift from one of my pigeons! I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it — 727 posts into this blog, it just warms the cockles of my heart to know that ya’ll are out there getting something from my little typing paws.

And speaking of paws, I need a manicure in the worst way. But I want to get into the garden this Friday so that will have to wait.

Good Golly, Even My CAR Has To Look Good?

Pastors and pastors-to-be, we’ve never talked about this but it bears saying: you will very likely be driving your own wheels to the cemetery at some point in your ministry. I do like to go in the hearse, as most people think that’s a creepy place to be but I like to chat with the undertaker (our local guy has become a friend and has great stories) and to accompany the deceased to their final resting place. However, sometimes my schedule does not permit the leisurely drive to the cemetery and back to town, so I drive myself. And when I pull my Honda CR-V up behind the town car carrying the family, I’m SO glad it no longer sports a bumper sticker that says, “My Other Car Is A Broom” and that it isn’t splattered with faded peace signs, half-torn off Jerry Garcia stickers and other symbols of groovy liberalism. I do have a few flowers on the side of the car (pretty little magnets given me by a parishioner) and that’s it. I try to keep the car relatively clean, because don’t think that people don’t notice when their minister’s car is filthy inside and out. Likewise, they notice when we use our cars as moving billboards to express hostility toward a particular party/candidate/ideology, so consider what you’re saying with your vehicle, darlings.

Do Write In, Doveys

As you know by now, my dear and lovely ones, PeaceBang has a new man in her life and now a new dog. They are sheer delight, energy, love and commitment. But they also tucker a girl OUT, and she has less time to think about trench coats, the fit of clergy skirts and trousers, hair and make-up.

I feel that we have said so much together in the past two years and there’s SO much material in the archives for you to browse and hopefully from which to benefit. I have been writing quite a lot over at my PeaceBang blog – please do go look and see what flits through my noggin when I’m not ruminating on lip gloss — and haven’t had many BTFM inspirations.

Which is where you come in. What are you seeing, wondering, thinking? Not just about your own shoe choice for the spring (I’m so sorry, but I simply can’t respond to all the personal e-mails I receive and must limit myself to those that are professionally urgent, as in “I have an interview coming up and I don’t own anything remotely presentable, help!”), but about your own professional image, how it’s all going out there, and what gaffes we’re still making as messengers of the good news.

Today we open a new category called “The Naughty Corner.” In it we will put all those reports of startlingly inappropriate attire among our brothers and sisters of the cloth. PeaceBang promises not to publish ANY identifying information. We aim here to be informative and challenging, never punitive.

Beauty Tips is Two Years Old Today!

My dear powder pigeons!

This blog is two years old today!!

It was born when SisterBang read a post on make-up tips for ministers at my original PeaceBang blog and suggested that I start a blog on that subject. I said, “Heavens, I think I’ve said pretty much all I have to say on the subject” and she said, “You HAVE NOT and you know it!!” She recalled to my mind the many times we had gnashed our teeth over the frumpy, drab or even downright unkempt appearance of otherwise wonderful male and female ministers, and how she herself had decided not to attend a certain church because the clergy photo on the church’s web site showed someone so dowdy and dated in appearance as to persuade my sister that this was a probably a very nice “old hippie” who clearly identified far more with a previous era than with this one.
SisterBang acknowledged that this might be an unfair and unkind judgment, but had visited enough UU churches to know that it might also very well be an accurate one. She said, “Start a blog. Talk about this issue. Make it funny. Someone really needs to say this stuff and it has to be a minister.”

Thus was born Beauty Tips for Ministers.com and the gabby, irreverent and “cheeky” alter ego of Victoria Weinstein when she writes as PeaceBang for it.

I’d like to thank SisterBang for the original inspiration, Scott Wells for being my invaluable and never impatient webmaster, and Suzyn Smith Webb for originally making a Christmas gift of the domain name. I’d like to thank YOU, my reverend punkins, for reading it and for contributing comments that have helped your sisters and brothers of the cloth to shine better as God’s All-Stars.

If you have appreciated this blog (especially if PeaceBang has taken time to advise you personally off-line), and if you would like to show your appreciation for BTFM and its author in a tangible way, please feel free to make a gift by clicking on the “Show PeaceBang Some Love” link above.

Kiss of peace, and go be beautiful,
PeaceBang