Beauty Tips for Ministers

Packing For General Assembly

What I did first was go to my closet and figure out what I already had that might work for a conference setting.

I decided on a color theme (browns, white and touches of blue or bright pink), which helped limit my choices immensely. I will include some black pieces but most of my outfits will be in the brown-white general category. I made a conscious choice to avoid anything drab, anything remotely pastel, or anything very soft (no florals!!). No flowy garb, no ankle-length broomstick skirts, no being swallowed up in fabric. All my prints and colors are bold and there is a definite bohemian touch.

I had a manicure and chose a very dark, dramatic polish, which helped me decide which jewelry to pack (bold pieces, some shine factor, nothing small or delicate).

Other accessories will be a faux pashmina shawl (the kind you buy on the streets of NYC and that my mom and I refer to as pashmiNOT), a scarf for my hair, a belt, and one small purse (in addition to my huge shoulder bag).

I am deciding on shoes: they have to be comfortable enough to wear all day, to walk considerable distances in, and still have at least a modicum of fashionability. It’s a tough decision, because I’d like to bring five pairs, but no way! It’s got to get down to two, plus flip-flops for the travel day.

I am bringing three pairs of pants (nice jeans, black and brown trousers) and one skirt. I will bring one blazer, one cardigan and four blouses. I am packing a dress for the first time ever. I have to bring an alb and stole.
This is a lot, I realize. However, I just feel better with a lot of outfits; it makes me feel less like every day is an exhausting repeat of the day before it.

It’s nice not to be doing much presenting or presiding at GA this year. Therefore, I don’t have to pack any very professional outfits: the white blazer is a little strange (white!?) but it’s just a comfortable jacket and it’s bound to be cool in Portland. I love white in the summer.

Tomorrow I tackle the toiletry and cosmetics bag!

For those who are in a similar packing phase, a few tips:

1. Do decide on a color theme and stick to it so everything mixes and matches.
2. Do pack an umbrella — it’s the Pacific Northwest.
3. Do pack things that you’ve tried on and know fit. I went up about a size or so in shirts — dammit! — but rather than sit around pulling at my blouses I purchased two very useable tops on sale.
4. Do consider that you’ll be interacting not only with colleagues during Ministry Days but with lay delegates the rest of the week. Let’s look like we respect our work and our movement, people. Wear your tees and Crocs on professional days if you must (and must you?), but consider spiffing up a bit for the larger convention. Pleeeeaze???
5. Hotel rooms and convention halls are notoriously dehydrating. Pack a rich facial moisturizer and use it every night. A pair of white cotton socks and a good emollient foot cream (Shea It Isn’t So makes a great travel sized one) can be a great help in avoiding cracked heels.
6. Start getting good sleep, eating especially well and taking Vitamin C now. If you’re traveling cross country, you’ll be spending a long time in under-oxygenated, filthy airplanes. Bump up that immune system stat!

Meeting PeaceBang At General Assembly

Hey UU readers!

Wondering if your shoes work with your dress? Want to talk about what to wear for that upcoming job interview or ordination? Not crazy about your hair, but out of ideas? Just want to meet the crazy broad who authors this blog?

Leave a note for PeaceBang on the GA board under her real name (Victoria Weinstein) and let her know! Good times to catch me are after the Blogger’s event from 10-11:30 on Wednesday at the Doubletree Hotel Oregon Room –or before or after the Unitarian Universalist Christian Fellowship Communion Service on Friday. I haven’t received my program yet so I’m not sure what my schedule is like.

Ten Years Of Wondering What To Wear Sunday Mornings

Good morning, dears,

Before PeaceBang heads to the State House to rally with other advocates of Marriage Equality, she would like to share with you that this is her tenth anniversary of ordination, and she has written extensively (and seriously) about that fact over at the PeaceBang Blog.

Thank you for anointing me as a minister of ministerial image at this interesting point in my service to God and the church.

Kiss of Peace,
PB

Structure!

When you see the word “structure” in this post, you must imagine me saying it very Boston patrician, like “STRUCK-CHAH!”

Here’s what I want to say about STRUCTURE (struck-cha!):

Let’s get some!

When we’re presiding at anything remotely formal where other people might be clad in uniforms, and we are not in clericals ourselves, we should be in a suit. For women, this means a blazer or jacket this is NOT FLOPPY COTTON or otherwise flowing garb. Gents, I think you know what I’m saying. No Nehru jackets or tunics with big medallions.

Two specific examples : Say you are asked to give an invocation at an Eagle Scout induction, or are invited to give the prayer at the Firefighter’s Memorial Sunday. In both cases, the other key participants will be in uniforms. Ministers should be similarly formal, which for the entire world outside of groovy liberal clergy, means something structured and buttoned up. And form-fitting. What may seem to our spiritual eyes a lovely, free-spirited garment is just going to look to others’ eyes like Vintage Hippie. This is not the time to bring on your huge bell-sleeved, Renn Faire Goddess get-up.

And we cannot use summer heat as an excuse. If they’re standing around dripping in their uniforms, we shouldn’t be appearing in a silk poncho or gossamer tunic that we got on our sabbatical in India. It just looks weird and disrespectful, even if you throw a stole on over it (which you wouldn’t, would you?God God, PeaceBang just got slightly dizzy).

This does not hold true for weddings, where flowy romantic garb on officiant and guests is far more acceptable and aesthetically and religiously appropriate. But please, check with the couple before you decide to wear anything non-traditional. They will be looking at photos of you for the rest of their mortal lives. Please don’t spring something “interesting” on them and cause them to curse you unto the third generation.

These clergy suits by Womanspirit are I’m sorry to say, singularly hideous. Make sure to click on the small photo to see these outfits in all their psycho-spinsterish glory: by god, it looks like a poster for a new show called “Lizzie Borden: The Musical.”

Do yourself a favor and just shop for something a normal human being who cared about their appearance would wear.

Taking Ourselves Too Seriously In Clericals?

Bubelahs,

A Midwestern “Looteran” writes thusly:

Dearest Peacebang,
I am such a huge fan and a grateful devotee- thank you for your tireless work in these trying times!

I just wanted to sent a quick note on clerical collars. I come from the Lutheran land of the midwest- and each collar type depends more on geography rather than denomination. I couldn’t find a round band collar here even after I drove 4 hours to the nearest religious suppy store (nor would people understand its meaning).

So polyester, tab collar shirts are the way of the mainline protestant clergy here. For better or for worse. So I must wonder from the previous clerical post- do we really have to take ourselves so seriously in these shirts?

I say this because I did sit in the town festival dunk tank and the collar raised $200 (will there be a shunning?)

Dearest Dunkin’,

No shunning, my dear, just a loving disagreement with Ye Old PB.

PeaceBang has been asked to participate in such events and always gives a smiling but firm “NO.” She believes that it is not a good idea for us to encourage laypeople to work out their aggressions and hostility toward clergy under the guise of “good fun.” Not for any cause. Public humiliation of anyone is not okay with PeaceBang, and most especially not those representing entire groups and therefore taking upon themselves the “sins of the fathers.” That’s what we have Jesus for, pumpkins, who I’m sure would happily sit in that dunking tank and go down into the water until eternity. I would no more sit in a dunking booth in a clerical collar than I would stand with a sign around my neck saying “Generic Woman” and allow people to line up and pay $2 for the chance to smash me in the face with banana or chocolate custard pie.

So PeaceBang has to be the party-pooper on this one, and to say that had she come upon you in the dunking booth she would have said, “Darling, hand me that collar and let them dunk you as you if they like, and if you’re so willing. But let’s not bring the office of minister into this situation, for pity’s sake.”

What if the tank was labelled “Holy Water” and the PASTOR had to be the one to throw the volunteers into the water, and was charged $4 every time she missed? Now THAT I would do. Because I throw like the proverbial girl and it would be hilarious. Those who did get dunked would be allowed to come give me a huge post-”baptismal” bear hug and get me all soaked.

Be creative!

What If You’re Praying AND Marching?

Mon chere cheres! (Translated, that means, “People even more dear to me than Cher!”),

A dilemma! Say you’ve been given the honor of being asked to read or to pray at a big, interfaith worship service… say, just for pure hypotheticals n’ stuff — BOSTON PRIDE, 2007. Just, you know, hypothetically-ish.

So you know you’re going to be out marching for a couple of hours, but you want to look nice for church.

Or do you?

If you’re in a choral ensemble and wearing your team tee-shirts with the ensemble’s name on it, that’s okay.

If you’re an attendee, that’s also fine.

But if you’re representing a religous community, I just have to vote for a step up from slogan tee-shirt for the church service segment of your day. Could we not, for example, wear our slogan tee-shirt under a nicely buttoned shirt while we’re in a presiding role? PeaceBang thinks such things can be fairly easily worked out. Where there’s a will, there’s a way.

And after all, Dr. King never marched in sneakers and tees.