Beauty Tips for Ministers

Lipstick On The Communion Chalice

A lovely and cosmetically-conscientious reader says,

“Hello Peacebang!

Big problem for a chalice bearer and future Episcopal deacon. Lipstick on the chalice at communion is a nasty thing, and shouldn’t be put there by someone who has to wipe it off! What’s a good lipstick that will adhere to the lips and not come off on the chalice? I’ve been doing without on Sunday but now that I’m fiftysomething and rather white-haired, I could use a little more color.
Thanks from a fan.
peace,M.”

Dear M,

Oh, ewww! I hadn’t thought about the problem of lipstick residue on the Communion chalice, but you’re good to bring it to my attention.

PeaceBang is a huge fan of CoverGirl Outlast All Day Lip Color in Blush Pearl and wears it every Sunday to church. Any of the CoverGirl Outlast All Day colors are good, since the moisturizing topcoat is no very emollient but not gooey.

I often wear it with another lipcolor on top, but it works great on its own.

Let us know how it works!
Kiss of peace to you!

Rather Handsome, Wouldn’t You Say?

Nautica Sale
Originally uploaded by Peacebang.

Gentlemen, there seems to be a sale on Nautica garments here,

http://www1.macys.com/catalog/product/index.ognc?ID=186994&CategoryID=27291

PeaceBang thinks that these are good-looking clothes and quite affordable. Go check them out. And while you’re looking at the sweaters, consider not drowning yourself in enormous knits or upstaging your face with loud, busy knitted patterns. It’s you we want to hear speaking, not your big ole Dr. Huxtable sweater.

(Yes, you can wear white pants. You have to be in good shape, and you have to keep them clean, but they can look crisp and really nice in the warmer months. Consider pairing with a navy single-breasted blazer and handsome floral tie for meetings.)

No-Iron Shirts, And A Land’s End Catalog Review

Look, fellas!
I found you some nice no-iron shirts from Land’s End!
http://tinyurl.com/2jtwly

While the boys are off shopping, can we gals tawk?

PeaceBang was perusing the new Plus Size Collection of the Land’s End catalog, which she generally finds to be a source of affordable and well-made clothing. Land’s End seems to be deluging her mailbox lately, in fact.

But she was very unhappy with this latest offering and if there are any plus size designers out there, PeaceBang would like to HAVE A WORD WITH YOU. Through a MEGAPHONE, darling.

PLEASE STOP DESIGNING CLOTHES FOR SQUARE-SHAPED WOMEN. WE ARE NOT BOXES.
THANK YOU.

Now, PeaceBang has not noticed this problem on the on-line catalog — which has no models — but she notices it when looking at how the clothes fit one real-life women (if catalog models could be considered “real life,” and for the sake of argument we’ll say that they can).

These clothes, when worn by women, seem to PeaceBang to be mostly shapeless and on the edge of frumpy. Oh sure, the models look cute. That’s because they had their hair and make-up professionally done and they’re in fabulous lighting and smiling huge, well-rested smiles and standing around on beaches and porches without a care in the world. Wouldn’t you look adorable under similar circumstances? But PeaceBang is a shrewd little vixen and she is not fooled. Outside the magical Land Of Catalog, those clothes are mostly just not designed very well, especially the skirts which are really just a Long Column Of Fabric. We are not fooled, Land’s End! Your Long Print Bias Skirt on page 31 is just a sheet with a zipper and button closure, isn’t it? Isn’t it?
Thank you for not making your blazers similarly shapeless. You can fire your skirt and shirt designer and keep the blazer and pants designer.

This catalog also highlights the difficulty we have determining genres of clothing and whether or not they will work for us. In this particular case, PeaceBang is typically confused. Is this Land’s End clothing meant to be casual clothing women could ostensibly wear to work, or is it meant to be casual sportswear that would be especially nice for gardening in?

Hence, methinks, the crisis in dressing for many of us. There’s too much gray area out there. And that’s where YOU have to be discerning and wise, powder pigeons. Land’s End or Macy’s or Target or Kohl’s or Dayton’s are not going to make it clear to you in what context their offerings are acceptable or appropriate. YOU have to do the work of finding your own look and determining what’s appropriate for your work and your message.

While we’re on the subject, PeaceBang happens to think that the colors of many of Land’s End garments are puerile — too reminiscent of the nursery to adorn her 41-year old person. In fact, PeaceBang finds this problem with many manufacturers of sportswear for plus-sized women. All those complexion-killing greens and cheap saccharine pinks and horrible powdery blues…. eesh. PeaceBang likes colors with a bit more complexity and sophistication when she can find them, and by that she doesn’t mean “island turquoise” or “deep coral.” She does not work as a luau hostess, Land’s End. And I love pink — but that raspberry pink they’re calling “French pink,” well, non. That’s not French pink. PeaceBang has been to France and she can tell you that that’s not French pink. It’s more like Akron, Ohio Pink.

That said, the neutrals are quite nice. And you thought I never had anything nice to say.

My point is, darlings, that not only have I not finished my first coffee of the morning, but is to say that the clothier’s job is to sell you clothing, not to define your image for you or to work with your figure or your coloring. That’s up to you.

It’s hard work, but someone’s gotta do it, and you’re the best one for the job. In fact, when it comes right down to it, you’re the only one for the job.

She Gave Her Ordination The Boot

ordination boot
Originally uploaded by Peacebang.

Remember when D. wrote in and told us about how she broke her ankle right before her ordination and was so upset that she wouldn’t be able to wear fabulous shoes? And then she decorated her little ankle boot with rhinestones?

http://beautytipsforministers.blogspot.com/2007/02/she-glued-rhinestones-to-her.html

Well, here’s the photo. And it’s just a wonderful shot.

Blessings to the Rev. D. and her intrepid sense of humor and flair!

Please Pray For Orlando

Originally uploaded by Peacebang.

My living God, is that a MULLET on Orlando Bloom?

And why is his skin so gray?
And his eyes so baggy?

PeaceBang is so deeply dismayed that she might have to go have some chocolate. Now is not the time to return to sermon-writing.

Healing prayers to the previously-dishy and elegant Mr. Bloom.
Lord have mercy.

(thanks to GoFugYourself.com for the photo)

Matte Jersey Dress

Now, I’m not crazy about this drab color, but I’m just pointing out that you can get a perfectly nice, professionally-appropriate dress for $55:

http://www.elisabeth.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2620641&cp=1986606.2034832&parentPage=family