Beauty Tips for Ministers

Spring Trenches

Aside from the fact that there’s a camera from “Nightline” watching me type right now, I do want to recommend to you a lovely cropped trench coat I saw in “In Style” magazine — definitely a nice outwear option for the hipper set (and I’m sorry, but double-breasted isn’t a great choice for fuller-figured guys and gals):

Cotton American Eagle,
ae.com
$80.

The fact that it’s cropped makes it unsuitable for formal professional appearances, but it is a smart-looking option for daytime jaunts.

For more professional appearances, consider a Nautica trench (also double-breasted) in cotton-nylon in beige/neutral. It’s a heftier price at $189, but unless you outgrow it, it should last you simply eons. That style ain’t going nowhere but right into Classic and More Classic. For the more color-ific risk-takers among us, there’s a canary yellow double-breasted cropped trench by J.Crew for about the same bucks, $168. But your investment there won’t be as good, as bright yellow is very au courant. You granddaughters will love you for it, though.

"Closet Smarts" To the Rescue

So I wrote to my style-maven friend Emily to inquire as to what a gal wears on television, and she responded promptly, seriously and helpfully.

She can advise you, too:

http://www.closetsmarts.com/

Her book is avaiable at fine independent and chain book stores everywhere, and also on that web site that starts with an “A.”

Thanks, Em.
It’s not a good look to wear a blazer that one can’t button, is it? Because you recommended mocha brown, which I have, but it’s from a slimmer era in my life. Not *much* slimmer, but slimmer.

Her Name Was "Priestly"

miranda priestly
Originally uploaded by Peacebang.

Aloha, fabulous and darling ones.

I was just cruising through some Oscar commentaries and thinking about how much I admire Meryl Streep no matter what she wears to award shows, and remembering how much I adored her in “The Devil Wears Prada” as the steely fashion maven Miranda Priestly. And then it hit me: “priestly.” An absolutely fitting name!!

If you’ll permit PeaceBang to get a wee bit philosophical for a moment, it isn’t too far-fetched to point out that fashion, like religion, is all about ritual and worship.

If we believe that serious fashionistas are worshiping false idols, we certainly won’t get anywhere in a conversation with them — or anyone else who is taken by the popular message that Appearance Is Everything–by living a planet away from the beauty they are trying to be part of.

The deep desire for beauty isn’t shallow. Channeling that desire by spending your paycheck on Manolo Blahniks is. But darlings, why judge? Get out there and evangelize!
We are ministers in a culture where people earnestly prowl the cosmetics counters and the sports emporia seeking some kind of transcendence. Why not meet them there occasionally and start the conversation by bonding over the splendor of the latest Chanel lipgloss, or the rad coolness of the latest style of Nike shoes?
Throwing stones from a distance will certainly do no good.

Start a conversation with how much God loves us, or on the joys of tithing (and PeaceBang does tithe to charitable organizations, btw), and watch folks edge out the door. Compliment that shopper on her lovely necklace that belonged to her grandmother, and open the doors for something deeper to emerge. Do you begin every pastoral encounter by sonorously intoning “And how is it with your soul, my child?” No. You talk about the weather. You notice someone’s haircut, you find a comfortable way to sit. You make eye contact, you hone in. You attend to each other by paying attention. Before you get to the deep stuff, it’s just two descendants of monkeys sitting together on the same branch going hoo-ha, hoo-ha.

If we think that God made a beautiful creation, a natural religious response is to want to be as beautiful as possible within that creation. I haven’t met a minister yet who was so spiritual that they weren’t walking around in a body that needed to be groomed and clothed every day. When you get promoted to the job of Holy Spirit, you’re all set. For now, you’ve got incarnation to deal with. Sorry. I know it’s not easy.

I’ve been looking lately for a quote by the Jungian analyst James Hillman who made the startling comment in one of his books that American personal slovenliness was such an affront to the rest of the world’s aesthetic sense that it was actually a casus belli.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Casus_belli

When I originally read that statement my blood ran cold with a combination of alarm, offense and denial. I wish I could find the quote to see how I’d react to it now, but so far, no luck. I really want to find it. If we have any Hillmanites out there, can you help?

I’m just gettin’ all philosophical because lots of people have been asking me deep questions about aesthetics and beauty and stuff lately. Cripes.

So to get back to business, let’s have a Product Review: I tried a sample of Kiehl’s Soothing Gel Masque last night which was lervly and yes, soothing!

More on Vestments

I had to share this with you!

One of my parishioners told me the other day that there used to be a store in a neighboring town called “Heavenly Rounds - Religious Vestments & Square Dancing Clothing.”

Isn’t that delicious!!??

Speaking of vestments, this is the Rev. Dr. Kendra Vaughan Covey, Elder High Priestess and Metaphysician of the First Church of Wicca: http://www.firstchurchofwicca.org/AboutOurMinister.html

One of you saw Rev. Dr. Kendra on television and wrote to express curiosity her decision to wear a clerical collar. I thought it would be best to let Kendra speak for herself and sent her an e-mail inquiry, to which she responded,

“First, let me say that the collar - although it is most widely accepted in the Roman Catholic faith - is not a Christian item at all. It was brought to us in the 1700’s as a form of clothing worn by all clergy at the time. Since then it is very common to see a collar worn by Methodist ministers, Unitarian Universalist ministers, as well as Non-Denominational ministers.

Incidentally, Raymond Buckland (The Father of American Witchcraft) and Oberon Zell-Ravenheart, the founder of the Gray School of Wizardry, both wore a collar for several years while active in Pagan ministry.

My reasons for wearing the collar are quite simple:

1) I am first, a Non-Denominational minister that believes I should be available to all people at all times. You would be amazed at the number of people who actually stop me wherever I am to tell me their problems and ask for advice. I am thrilled that I can help.

2) I have a pentacle embroidered on the left cuff of every sleeve - so when people stop and ask me what type of minister I am I show them the pentacle - say Pagan, and look at it as an opportunity to educate one more person - emphasizing of course, that we do not proselytize.

3) Currently, I am making huge strides in being accepted into several Interfaith Councils and working as a hospital and prison Chaplain. The collar gives me instant recognition as clergy and of course, brings a level of much needed respect to the Pagan community from the Community at Large.

I hope that helps clarify things for you!”

Rev. Dr. Kendra also recommended to me this vestments glossary:
http://www.kencollins.com/glossary/vestments.htm

So there you have it. One non-Christian clergyperson’s explanation of why she wears clericals. (I think where she says early on that the collar is not Christian at all, she meant to say “Catholic,” corresponding to Collins’ explanation of the collar’s Protestant origins).

Thanks for allowing me to post this, Rev. Dr. Kendra. Blessings and kiss of Peace!

Television-Induced Existential Crisis

Hello in a post-Oscar moment before heading off to bed, powder pigeons!

I watched the entire telecast at my friends’ house, on one of those ginormous flat-screen TVs that make you feel as though you are THERE.

I thought that almost all the stars look smashing this year, but I didn’t much enjoy the show. It dragggggged. The Al Gore moment was lovely, and I was so happy for Jennifer Hudson, Forrest Whittaker and Martin Scorcese. I adore Helen Mirren.

It occurred to me watching the Oscars that I just don’t watch television very much at all, and the vast majority of my encounters with pop culture come through the internet or brief interludes with magazines — usually in the line at the grocery store.

So I suffered an anxiety attack right there in M and P’s living room realizing that I am going to be on television — a medium I don’t really have any meaningful connection to!

I believe that this little flurry of attention is related to the mistaken impression people have that we clergy are remote creatures, too busy being super-duper holy to be fully engaged in the world the way “ordinary” people are. You know, I know, and God knows that we’re not superduper holy, we’re not remote, and we’re not disengaged from the real world as lay people know it. Like everyone else, we’re trying to juggle all our responsibilities in life, with the added layer of attending people through the spiritual journey and speaking a word of hope and grace on Sunday mornings. We’re trying to figure out how to communicate through our appearance some of the relevancy and vibrancy we believe is present in the contemporary Church.

How can we do things like connect to pervasive forces like television while still honoring the essential aspect of our calling? Television requires sound bites: ministers don’t think, speak or live in sound bites. Television says, “entertain me!” and ministers don’t entertain, we engage. (I mean, I certainly intend to entertain you as PeaceBang, but you’re not the general public. This conversation is by us, for us, and about us, darlings!).

And yet we must be willing to reach people through popular media. If you had a few moments of time on national television, what message about the vitality of liberal religious life would you want to communicate? I’ve got my talking points ready (hint: it’s not actually fashion we care about so much as better managing our complicated role and image in our churches and in society), but I’d love to hear some of yours.

PeaceBang Suffers For Her Art

Dearly Beloved,

A wee little camera from “Nightline” will be in the worship service with us this morning, and PeaceBang is feeling almost grimly protective of the religious intent of the day, hoping upon hope that it just feels like No Big Deal to her congregation. The interview comes later in the week, and we are just going to have to Be Brave and bring the message of clergy vibrancy and relevancy to the world.

As much as she is calmly focused on the work of the parish, PeaceBang also understands that she should try to look fresh and alive and “camera-ready” this morning, and so went for a facial and eyebrow waxing earlier this week.

The facial, done with all Eminence Organic products, which smell absolutely edible and which she looooooves, was a delight, in that way that having fire ants march all over your face eating you alive is a delight.
Which is to say that no matter how organic a product may be, darlings, it can still be strong and it can still irritate your skin!! As PeaceBang lay there with her face boiling under some kind of “gentle” alpha hydroxy masque and paprika-based topcoat mildly protesting that her face was scalding, her facialist chortled in an understanding manner and said, “Don’t panic!”

Panic! Why would I panic? There’s nothing more relaxing in the world than having six layers of your skin peeled off your face in the days immediately preceding your first national television appearance! Why, it’s like skipping through a copse of violets on a warm spring day! If that copse of violets is in Hell! Panic? Don’t be sil’!

As for the eyebrow waxing, that was not in the original plan but was a spontaneous recommendation by the aesthetician. PeaceBang can report to you that eyebrow waxing is also the pleasantest of treatments, if you’re the type of person who enjoys the sensation of your skin being ripped off your face. But… courage, mon amis! The pain, she is but fleeting, and the eyebrows are really much more cleanly shaped.

And now for coffee, deep breathing, prayer, preparation of the children’s story, final review of the service, and then …. oh heavens, I’ll have to remember to get dressed, too.

Bring the good news, lovely ones! Shine on! And a blessed Sabbath to you all.

[Update at 1:30: What a nice church day! Sunny, beautiful, happy, full. Elements all good (we could have used one more hymn, but I didn’t realize it in time for the order of service, darnit), sermon as well-crafted as I could manage, and I got through the children’s message coherently, even though I usually clutch at unscripted storytelling. I noticed the camera once or twice, but otherwise forgot about it. I know we’re still in the deep of Lent, but today had that “comin-around-to-spring feeling. Lovely. Church a-buzz with much good programming, upcoming stewardship campaign, usual high spirits. Sorry, just had to say it as my real self! xoxo PB/VW]