Beauty Tips for Ministers

The Iron Is Your Friend

January 28, 2007 on 9:20 pm | In Basic Grooming Issues |

Whilst I was away, I got this comment from Anonymous:

“I must say, I went to my first big gathering of UU ministers the other day, and all of a sudden the need for this blog became very clear to me. I mean, I am not all about super-cute shoes or special mascara, but hey - let’s iron our clothes, people. There were only other ministers around, so it made it less painful, but I couldn’t help but realize that everyone probably didn’t dress down for the event - these were what they typically wore. There were exceptions, for sure, but it was not good overall. Yikes. Double yikes.”

Anonymous, my honest amigo/a, thank you for reminding us that the household iron is not an instrument of oppression if used in moderation.
PeaceBang is about to get very serious, for she deeply believes the following things about wrinkled clothes:

1. Failure to iron completely destroys the fit of the garment. If you absolutely refuse to iron, buy a size bigger. If you are a woman, you can be assured that a wrinkled button-down shirt will be gapping and revealing your bra. There will be no “Festival of Inappropriate Sharing” joke here: you’ve already heard it.

2. Wrinkled clothes are slovenly. There is no other word for it. When I see a wrinkled garment, I expect to see dirt. And why should I not?

3. Wearing wrinkled clothing takes away all the focus from your face, where it should be.

4. Wrinkled clothing communicates that you cannot take care of yourself as an adult. I only expect to see wrinkled clothing on college students, the extremely bereaved, and abandoned men of the generation and upbringing who expect womanfolk to iron their clothes for them. When I see an extremely wrinkled adult, it always tempts me to say to them, “There, there, little boy/girl… are you losted?” and hand them a lollie. They always seem so helpless and hapless.

5. There are thousands of garments made especially for the iron-averse. Those who hate to iron should stay away from cotton in their professional wardrobe, which is made to look crisp and put-together. Don’t insult the integrity of cotton garments by donning them in wrinkly form.

6. We all know the difference between casual, light cotton that’s perfectly appropriate to wear wrinkly, and the kind that’s not. Don’t kid yourself. When in doubt, iron it out.

7. Pretty much everyone hates to iron. This is not a charming eccentricity but a common complaint. As my dear old grandmama used to say, “Want another pierogie, Vick?”
That’s what she would say, but I would say, “Suck it up, my doves, and get out that iron.”