Beauty Tips for Ministers

Flip-Flops Are a Flop

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: NO MORE FLIP-FLOPS, EVER!!

http://bostonworks.boston.com/news/articles/2006/06/29/are_flip_flops_damaging_your_career/

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Meredith, Call Me!

Alert reader Sarah informed me that the author of a piece on NPR’s “All Things Considered” today might have been referring to THIS VERY LITTLE OLE BLOG in her discussion of clergy fashion.

After having heard the essay, I think the author has actually been reading a different clergy fashion blog, but I thank Sarah for referring me to the Reverend Mrs. Gudger Raines’ essay, which made me bite my nails in anxiety.

Meredith, honey, CALL ME! If you think that showing some of your “rounded bare shoulders” in the pulpit is going to help your West Viriginia Methodist congregation grasp the incarnation more fully, girl, you’re going to be out before you ever get IN!

If anyone knows Meredith, please refer her to me. We need to talk about sleeves, and about West Virginia.
The essay is here:

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5522718

Doesn’t she just sound like the most earnest, gee-whiz new seminary graduate you ever heard? What a darling gal. Lord have mercy: let’s hope we get to her in time.

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Rev. Peck’s Bad Boy

Do you know why this adorable minister (whose age you will NEVER guess, not even if I give you five free tries) is wearing this ridiculous chapeau?

Mostly because he was joking around, but since there may be a minister or priest out there wearing a sideways baseball cap in perfect seriousness, I feel I must comment.

Since I deeply love and admire this colleague (and look how cute he is without the cap!), I begged him for a real explanation. I knew there must be one, or I would be compelled to snatch the offending item off his head and run as fast as my 3″ wedge sandals would take me.

My colleague refused to be intimidated by my line of questioning. He told me with a great twinkle in his eye that he wore the cap sideways because if wore the bill in front, it would interfere with his ability to HUG people! And then he demonstrated a hug both ways. PeaceBang was left to conclude that yes, it is impossible to properlty hug someone when wearing a baseball cap as it should be worn. Which persuaded her that in fact, baseball caps should just not be worn. Period. Ever.
Only if you’re kidding, and only for a few minutes even then.

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The Prairie Babe School

Here’s a dear colleague from Michigan who belongs in the category of “Prairie Clergy Babe.” She’s got the cute little specs, the lush hair pulled casually back, and she’s got some COLOR underneath her suit. She has two little kids at home so PeaceBang personally thinks it’s a marvel that she can put herself together at all. She’s funny and wise and has a great speaking voice ( a thing of beauty all in itself):

I might have buttoned the bottom buttons of her blouse or added a slim belt and some longer earrings, but I think this is a nice, approachable look.

But darlings: do check your rear view before you leave your hotel room. I spotted a snag in the butt of this lovely woman’s skirt and was able to do triage for her right then and there, which she appreciated. It could have caught on something and left her utterly unraveled!

I would not, however, recommend doing Butt Snag Triage for people you’re not real close to. I travel with a teeny tiny jackknife/scissors combo for just that kind of exigency, which I would like to have you know was CONFISCATED JUST TODAY AT CHICAGO O’HARE AIRPORT. All I’m trying to do is keep my friends from walking around with egregious butt snags in their skirts and I’m accused of being a threat to national security.

There is no rest for the weary.

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This isn’t a minister; or at least I don’t think it is.
It’s a lay delegate to our General Assembly. Therefore, she can sit like this.

You can’t.
You’re at a professional gathering, not on the porch enjoying a glass of CountryTime lemonade.

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Hats and Crowns

I have a colleague who originates from the South who is sort of famous for wearing hats at General Assembly. I also have a lay friend from the sort-of-South who also wears hats every day at GA, and I don’t mean a sun visor or baseball cap, I mean a HAT.

I think this is rather fabulous, and I am wondering if summer church-goers wear hats where any of you are, and if any preacher ladies wear them in the pulpit. Is this a trend in any of the churches? Would it be appropriate to preach in a hat? I should think that it would be, given Paul’s sniffy little comment about women covering their heads in church. I imagine a suit and hat would serve as terrific summer preaching wear. I am guessing that a marvelous chapeau might even lift a mediocre sermon into the realm of the transcendent.

One of my favorite books is called Crowns and is a photographic study of African-American church ladies and their hats:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0385500866/104-3906896-5398321?v=glance&n=283155
The women in the photos were also interviewed for the book and their words grace the pages opposite their photos. Any Fashionista for God should read every word of this book, for not only is it delightful and funny, it also provides a fabulous theology for why we should dress up when doing the Lord’s work.

PeaceBang’s grandmother Minnette was a rather famous and beloved milliner in the 1940’s and 50’s, so loving chapeaus is in her blood.

Remember in the acerbic and genius song, “The Ladies Who Lunch” from Stephen Sondheim’s “Company” when the drunken Joanne sings, “Does anyone… still wear… a HAT?” Remember that?
Joanne, my poor gin-soaked friend, they do. They do, and they should.

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